March 2008 – Page 13 – The only certainty is bad grammar

wait. the temperature is 50!!! is this flordia??

March 2, 2008 Crystal anti-meat, medium

this winter has definitely made me a believer in SAD (seasonal affective disorder). i think it was the snow. and the cold. and the snow. and the gray skies. and the snow. and the lack of ability to confidently wear heels in the snow. and the snow.

no. don’t worry. im not like diagnosed with SAD or anything. it’s just been a long. long. long. winter. (i blame wisconsin).

ahhh! but TODAY!!!! IT WAS 56 DEGREES!!! people. im happy. i really am.

really. im happier now than i was yesterday. it’s a real thing people. weather affects my mood.

and i WAS thinking that the whole vegan thing was just making me more, umm, open, but now i’ve in a supermood — where im open AND happy.

so thank you weather gods. thank you.

10 ingredients or less please

March 1, 2008 Crystal anti-meat, short

So trips to the grocery store are taking longer as a vegan.

I usually clog up the aisles saying “sorry. opps. sorry. sorry, i just want to look at THIS box right… here….. sorry. ok. thanks.”

and then i do three basic scans of the ingredients. first looking for milk, or eggs or butter. then a second scan where i read. each. ingredient. alone. and figure out what it means. and if the item gets past those tests, i read it all one. more. time. just to make sure. and then, about nine times out of ten i have to put the item back on the shelf.

and then the clerk asks if there’s any thing he can help me find.

‘do you guys carry soy ice cream?’

‘no, that’s really more of a specialty item. we have soy milk though.’

(note to clerks, that’s NOT the same thing. if you asked for strawberry ice cream and the clerk told you the store didn’t have it but the next aisle over there was some milk, would you be all OH! ok. great! thanks!)

‘oh, ok thanks,’ i tell the clerk.

and then i cry a little on the inside. just a little.

bein vegan is hard.

huh? tag? what?

March 1, 2008 Crystal anti-meat, journalism, medium

apparently i’ve been tagged by this girl i know and now i have come up with seven random things about myself.

(NOTE TO SELF: insert tag rules here later when you can remember them).

Here are the seven things about myself:

1. i’m hungry (thanks to being a vegan for five days straight).

2. i have a real-life phobia of people touching my ears (and no, i don’t have my ears pierced)

3. i hate cats (im allergic, so my hatred is legit)

4. i fantasize about working for Time Magazine and once my then-boyfriend, a baker, made me a Time Magazine cake for my birthday. we broke up anyway.

5. im pretty tight with the current governor of South Dakota. and by tight, i mean he would totally know my name if he saw me and i said ‘hi, im crystal.’ totally.

6. im still hungry.

7. i think i’ll probably die and leave my college debt to my children (assuming i have some), because it’s more money than i’ll make in my lifetime. true story.

ha! now YOU’RE IT! go on. spread the fun little play-ground game amongst yourselves. but no tag-backs.