May 2008 – Page 11 – The only certainty is bad grammar

i still heart johnny depp (like you didn’t already know that)

May 10, 2008 Crystal Johnny Depp, long

Well, in case you guys were getting worried that I was getting over my crush on johnny depp — im here to set the record straight. I still love him.

You might be thinking to yourself ‘self, she can’t actually be in LOVE with him. she hardly knows him!’

but I’m here to tell you that I have seen six of his movies over the past three weeks and I’m pretty certian that he and I are soul mates.

Well, no, he doesn’t know yet.

But.

soul mates have a way of finding each other. (duh)

and i have faith in that whole process, so I’ll probably get to marry him one day. (you can come to wedding, but I’m warning you now, it’s going to be all vegan food).

In case you TOO were thinking of watching a bunch of Johnny Depp movies (because he’s AWESOME) I thought I’d offer some of my thoughts on the ones I’ve recently seen (note: all thoughts basically are just about Johnny Depp and have little to do with the movies themselves.) I’m not going to link to all the titles, because that’s just annoying. If you want more information on any of the movies just search the freaking title here.

ED WOOD: Funny. and Johnny Depp is in 99.8 percent of the scenes so that’s way cool. He doesn’t look particularly hot in this one and he talks in an old-timey hollywood accent, and he wears women’s clothing in a few scenes, but i DO love him — so i watched the whole thing. Also, the movie actually is super funny, if you’re in that sort of thing.

sometimes i just want to brag.

May 9, 2008 Crystal im cool, short

Today at work, my amazing co-worker (hi Patsy!) told me i look like kim novak.

i’m pretty excited about it.

you may not know who kim novak is, but thanks to Mr. Google – I do!

AND Mrs. Google ImageSearch seems to think this novak is one pretty lady.

I’m going to go ahead and mark this whole thing in the “reasons i don’t hate all my co-workers.” “reasons i might not quit my job today.” “reasons May 9, 2008 was a good day” category.

sometimes true hollywood stories insprie me. true story.

May 9, 2008 Crystal im cool, medium

aww, who am i kidding with the “sometimes.” true hollywood stories ALWAYS inspire me.

I recently had a spare two hours and guess what E! had on?

correct.

the true hollywood story of jennifer lopez.

the following is a list of things i have since convinced myself i have in common with jennifer lopez:

nicknames:you may not know this if you didn’t see the e! true hollywood story on her like it did, but some people call her JLo. this is something i have in common with her because one time someone called me Lindell. I tried to correct that person and make them say CLi. but it didn’t work. I’m going to count as a commonality with jennifer regardless.

male suitors: She is on her third marriage. Along the way she dated a bazillion guys. I too have have dated a bazillion guys. No. Really. I have.

dresses: She once wore a dress that got her a lot of attention (it was green). this makes me like her because i once wore a green dress too. It was for easter.

marriages:When she was 24 she wasn’t married yet. I’m 24 and i’m not married yet.

acting roles: She stars in movies. me? well, I was totally in the Jane Adams Junior High School Musical when i was 13. i had lines and everything.

rejection: the first time she tried out to be fly girl for “In Living Color” she didn’t make it. Then she made it the second time. This is something i have in common with her because the first time i tried out for graduate school i didn’t get in. but then a month later i got in.

singing: She’s a good singer. I’m sing in my car when I’m alone and nobody tells me to stop.

hair color: She always changes her hair color. i TOO always change my hair color.

That concludes the list of things I have in common with Jennifer Lopez. (for now). I’m pretty confident that this all means I’m going to be rich and famous like Jennifer Lopez soon. if you want my autograph before the rush starts, just go ahead and send me a self-addressed stamped envelope.