Monthly Archive: March 2009

how do you capture that?

taken while driving. do not try this at home.

taken while driving. do not try this at home.

im a bit obsessed with sunsets.

like pull out my camera from my purse, which is sitting on the passenger seat, while driving home, because the sunset is THAT amazing and i NEED to shoot a picture right this second like a crazy person on one of those “what not to do” auto insurance commercials. (note to geico: ya. that’s, umm. not true. i’ve NEVER done that. ever).

and i should confess, this is not the first time i’ve acted like an insane person out of my love for the perfect shot of the perfect sunset.

just last week i was driving along with my little sister monica to get groceries and a movie from Family Video, when I noted that the beams of light coming from the sun were just a little too awesome and the way the colors had lit of the sky were just a little too fantastic and vision of oranges and reds were just a little spectacular to pass up.

So i drove the poor girl like five miles out of town to a corn field, trying to find a good spot to capture the sight without buildings in the way. And then i pulled over and walked down half a block so i could get an angle that included a little weed because i wanted to frame the sun with plant life.

i left the poor girl in the car while i did this. and let’s just say she was in there for about 7 solid minutes before embarrassment ensued and she decided to successfully lure me back to the car by shouting that i had a text message.

i was super excited to show her my prize-worthy pictures, figuring i could use the opportunity to explain to her that it’s important to take time out and enjoy natural beauty like sunsets. i gasped as i flipped through them and beamed as i started my car toward town.

but im sure i did not capture the sunset’s beauty with my camera that night. because despite my armature plant-framing techniques, it is just REALLY hard get awesomeness like that in a photograph.

something about it just doesn’t capture.

that’s how i feel when i try to explain to people how much i really love my sister.

when i try to tell them that she’s amazing, and perfect and kind of like the 9-year-old self i wish i had been.

how when she and i talk, i feel like we share a brain. and how i can look over to her with a thought in my eyes and she can understand it. thoughts like “let’s change the channel” or “life is not ok. let’s fix it.”

how i had prayed for a sister since i was a wee one, and the 15-year wait it took for me to get her was totally worth it.

how i think she’s going to grow up to be a rock star, or a doctor, or president, because she can so totally be whatever she decides. and im not exaggerating one bit.

how she’s finally getting to the point where i can talk to her like an equal. and how actually, i’ve always talked to her like an equal because i knew she’d grab hold of my conversations and remember every, single, thing i said.

how i’d literally untie my shoes, take them off, and then remove my socks, so i could plant my bare feet on hot coals and proceed to walk across them for miles if she needed me to. and how when i pray for her every night i beg Jesus with my heart to watch out for her, and protect her, and to let her be as happy as possible as often as possible.

how i didn’t really know there was a love like this until i met her. such pure, complete love.

i often wonder how — be it in writing, or in conversations or in photographs — i could possibly ever explain that love to people. how i could possibly ever capture its essence.

but i’ve come to realize that it’s like a sunset. it just has to be experienced.

my sister

my sister

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so society really wants me to get married.

i cannot get enough of the TLC show “say yes to the dress.”

people. i am not even dating anybody.

but the lace, and the bows, and the crying. holy alterations, are people ALWAYS crying on this show.

about CLOTHES!

and sometimes i cry too. i start tearing up right along with them, their moms, their friends, and their dress specialists, as they slip on ‘the one.’

but after the crying someone along the side of the dressing room in an uncomfortable chair in front of the three-way mirrors always says “this is just such a rite of passage. she’s an adult now.”

hold up. NOW she’s an adult? now that she has officially sealed the deal with a man, she’s a woman. whereas before she was just a child. even though she’s like 32 and has a full-time job, her own car and a bank account. nope. none of THOSE things qualify her. but the wedding dress with the lace and ruffles? yep there you go. she’s all grown up now. im sorry. im just going to go ahead and say it: that’s crap.

well. at least i wish i thought it was crap.

because deep down inside, i CONSTANTLY worry about my singleness. i worry that im never going to go through that rite of passage. that i’ll never get to go to a dress shop. and try on all the lace, and the bows. and hear my friends tell me that a. the first 52 dresses sucked, and the b. i am finally an adult now.

and then. sometimes. i cry. just a little. but still.

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a round of random thoughts

1. i don’t understand why people are grossed out by vegan foods. really? that tofu dog makes you nauseous? im sorry, do you not know what goes into a REAL hot dog? that’s right. ground up rat hair. true story.

2. i love, love, love NCAA march maddness. it’s fun because people who know NOTHING about basketball can totally win the whole thing because brackets have hardly any rhyme or reason, and it’s winner take all, so if your precious Duke gets knocked out in round two and you had them going all the way, i win. i know. fun times.

3. hi brett! or should i say, miss. manners?

4. grey’s anatomy sucks now. seriously, what the heck happened to that show? the dialogue is predictable and one-note, the characters make the same stupid mistakes over, and over, and over. and for crist’s sake, are derek and meridith EVER going to get their crap together? come on. it’s been YEARS. figure it out and start having babies already.

5. i wish i was as amused by looking out with front window as my roommate’s dog is. it’s like tv for him. my understanding is that old people also are facinated by looking out windows, so maybe this an activity that will grow on me.

6. while visiting my family in byron this weekend, the news anchor told me that rockford has a 14 percent unemployment rate. that’s crazy. and sad. and crazy. seriously, i really thought obama was going to fix all this by now.

7. this site is hilarious. for journalists. “overheard in a newsroom.

8. i just realized that my vegenaise (vegan mayou) expired in Jan. i still put some on my tofurkey sandwhich last night. do you think that the lack of eggs means the expiration date is more of a suggestion?

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