Monthly Archive: April 2009

Dear CNN, you suck. / Dear non-vegans, don’t worry, I’m not planning to blow anything up today

all right folks. calm down. if this is your first experience with the word vegan, step away from the CNN Web site.

slowly :: slowly ::

ok. there. now we can have an intelligent conversation about the following headline, which has been running on the CNN.com

Vegan on FBI’s ‘Most Wanted Terrorists’ list

really? REALLY? what the crap?

one my twitter follows, foodeater, alerted me to the situation, with a tweet, and i immediately alerted my roommate with comments such as “I HATE CNN,” “CNN SUCKS!” and “WHY ARE PEOPLE SO STUPID?!”

here’s the issue: why do they have to identify the crazy person by his vegan status? if it were a story about a man burning down abortion clinics in the name of all things holy, would the headline have read “Christian on FBI’s ‘Most Wanted Terrorists’ list?” um no. it would not. and if it did, craploads of christians would undoubtedly raise their hands, point to CNN and ask, “what the frick?”

really though, this doesn’t make mad, so much as it makes me distressed. i spend all my hours trying to be cool and awesome and explaing to anyone who asks that veganism is not crazy, but actually just cool and awesome like myself. and that really, within the next few decades it may well move up a few notches on the “normal” scale.

but then, CNN comes along and is all: VEGAN = TERRORIST. and then millions of people around the interweb get the idea in their head that anyone crazy enough to “eat no meat or any other food containing animal products” will probably also be crazy enough to go around bombing things. and WAM!, vegan shoots way down to the bottom of the “normal” scale.

so yes, it makes me sad.

it’s not all bad news though. today i saw a vegan steak-like product at Whole Foods, so maybe that will convince a few more people that the whole plant-based diet is doable. what’s that? it doesn’t actually taste like steak? oh. ok. well, have you tried the fake chicken? because that stuff rocks!

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promoting my blog may be starting to make me look crazy

all right. fine. asking to look at the guy’s iPhone at the bar Wednesday night so i could secretly plug my blog url into his web browser was crazy.

i can admit when i’m crazy.

it’s just that i love my blog so freaking much. like a child people.

a human child.

and i want to tell everyone i come in even brief contact with about it.

i have business cards, and magnets and tactics that include (but are not limited to): adding the link as a bookmark to people’s computers, twittering and facebooking the crap out of my entries, and calling my mom to remind her to check it.

in fact, a brief scan of the readers here would lead me to believe that most of you are reading this because i incessantly talk about my blog and you’re just trying to get me to shut up.

it’s a little something i like to call self-promotion/being confident/salesmanship.

qualities you HAVE to have in the new era of social media.

but since i’ve been spending so much time promoting my own d*mn blog, i figure i should take a hot minute to promote someone else’s blog. actually, five someone else’s blogs.

mandy.

krista.

sarah.

jenny.

and erin.

those five girls inspired me to start this thing back in my oshkosh days.

and even though that job sucked hard core, their blogs all rock hard core. so you should go read them. now.

but then, come back here.

no. seriously. come back. i’m funny too.

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Because in facebook-land, I’m perfect

did ya’ll know you can untag photos of yourself in Facebook?!!!

well ya can!

go ahead. look! you just click ‘untag’ under the picture. and bam. magic! you’re no longer associated with that ex, bad hair cut or unflattering activity.

in my case, i looked like someone had just hit me with a truck. a super big truck. with a plow in front. it was pic from a wedding last fall and one of the other bridesmaids tagged me in it. but i was only half-ready to be a bridesmaid at the time the picture was shot, which means i was only half-pretty.

turns out the half i was lacking was more important than i thought, because otherwise i wouldn’t have allowed cameras so close to me.

anywho, so this evil bridesmaid decided my hair looked pretty in the pic or some crap and decided to post it for hundreds of thousands of people to see on the interweb, and then she had the nerve to freaking link my freaking name to it.

what the crap?

I spent the last 7 months praying that people will just skip over my pictures tab when they peruse my profile. but now?

FREEDOM!

i am officially stress-free people.

stress. free.

i suppose those of you who read this post and the one below might assume that i have self-esteem issues now though.

have no fear. im just a normal, crazy, insecure girl. nothing to worry about here folks. everything is under control.

i am a little worried about what all this untagging business means for the world though. will all of us only present ‘perfect’ to internet land? only the pictures of us with fresh highlights, eyeliner and bibles for you facebook friends? anything with bad lighting, pimples or alcohol is out.

eh.

screw it. who cares?

i love being perfect on facebook.

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