kind of like a sea shell but not at all.

UPDATE: All can breathe a sigh of relief. i have a doctor’s appointment Friday morning. I’ll be sure to report back. you know, assuming the “tumor” hasn’t killed me or anything by then 🙂

so remember when i was all “i think my ear is infected or something because it’s really bothering me?”

well, it’s not like infected, infected. it’s like, something else. and i googled it.

and now i kind of think im dying.

the thing is, ever since my gallbladder surgery, it’s been making this swishing sound.

like swish. sw-ish. sw-ish. sw-ish. sw-ish. sw-ish. sw-ish.

and it’s in time with my heart beat.

and sometimes it’s REALLY LOUD. so it’s more like SW-ISH. SW-ISH. SW-ISH. SW-ISH. SW-ISH. SW-ISH.

it’s kind of driving me FREAKING NUTS! and it’s gotten so bad that it’s keeping me up at night.

and instead of getting it looked at like i normal person, i’ve just been taking nyquil to fall asleep.

also, i decided to self-diagnosis. as in, i checked crazy web sites online. my understanding of the situation is it could be either allergies, or a tumor.

the one thing that every web site i checked did have in common was they all told me to GO TO THE DOCTOR.

but i hate doctors. and their stupid “fees.” so instead i have decided to buy a fan, which i figure will drown out the swishing sound. and then i’ll be able to some freaking sleep.

i’ll let you know how that goes.

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in better spirits

i spent all day yesterday sleeping.

and recovering from the week from heck.

and today i feel. well, i feel better.

ready to take on the week.

ready to push through another seven days.

ready to love the sun, and the summer, and life.

ready to just be me again.

le sigh.

no promises or anything, but if you’re lucky i might even laugh at your jokes.

just sayin.

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a sad day.

my friend died.

his name was Dionate. and today was his funeral.

we grew up together.

he was my next-door neighbor.

he was only 23.

and someone stabbed him to death last week.

today was his funeral.

a funeral for a 23-year-old.

23.

and he wasn’t in a gang. or on drugs. or shooting people.

he wasn’t anything bad.

he was my friend.

and last weekend he was in the wrong place at the wrong time.

he was at a party.

and now he dead.

forever.

the funeral was very sad.

and everyone from my childhood was there.

and they were all crying.

a lot.

and so was I.

i hugged his brothers.

and walked up to the casket.

i said good bye.

and cried.

a man sang amazing grace.

and Dionate’s girlfriend read a letter to him.

she cried the most.

and then they closed the casket.

why did this happen?

why did my friend die?

he was only 23.

23.

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