July 2009 – Page 5 – The only certainty is bad grammar

palin, bug bites and blackberries

Published: July 5, 2009 / Updated: July 5, 2009 Crystal blackberry, humor, medium

i want to start out this post by talking about how tired i am, but im beginning to worry that i talk about being tired way too much on this site and that concerned folk might start to worry about me.

so instead, let’s talk about how there is NOTHING on tv on sunday mornings and how i probably waste like 8 hours a week flipping through channels waiting for either a XX:00 or a XX:30 so new shows will start.

oh. and how palin RANDOMLY QUIT!?

i mean, what the heck? i have been checking my blackberry like a crazy person looking at all types of news sites trying to figure out who will be the first to break the REAL reason behind her resignation.

im sorry, i just don’t buy “the media is mean.” and “i don’t want to be a lame duck.”

come on alaska media, i know it’s a holiday weekend, but get your crap together and break some news for crist sake!

also, we should talk about mosquito bites. this just in: they still SUCK.

im pretty sure i have about 73 right now after sitting outside participating in fourth of july activities yesterday. and they’re itching.

holy crap do they ITCH!

i used bug spray. and then i got some in my eye and then it burned like crazy.

also, citronella candles are just one big scam, because they have never, ever worked at any outdoor gathering i have EVER been too.

on another note, i got a new cover for my blackberry:

see how pretty it is?!

i heart the pink and the wonderful swirls and the lovely leaves.

i got it at a kiosk at woodfield. and it was marked as $25, but the stupid thing wouldn’t click closed and the sales lady was trying to tell me it was because i had a misshaped battery, which im pretty sure isn’t even a real thing.

so then i was like, “umm just forget it.”

and the lady was like, “no, no. i can close it.” and they did pretty much close it except for a little clip on the left side.

so i was like “really, just forget it” and she was like “what about another design? i’ll give you another design for $15” and i was like “no. really, i want THIS design. so really, just forget it.”

and then she was like “ok. i’ll give it to for $10.”

and i took it.

then i used the $15 i saved to get my eyebrows waxed.

yay me.

having fun all the time is kinda exhausting

Published: July 3, 2009 / Updated: July 3, 2009 Crystal humor, im cool

wow. im SO tired today.

went to six flags great america with a crapload of people yesterday. mostly family members who are in town from new orleans.

and about half of us went on vertical velocity. That ride is CRAZY.

you’re sitting in the seat and then BAM! you’re going 6 million miles per hour up a hill about the height of the sears tower. then just for kicks, it pulls you backwards up another hill, so you can see exactly how far you’d fall to your death if say, the seat belt stopped working. then you go forward again, only this time it’s higher, so you basically surpass the sears tower, then back again, then forward once more before you come a screeching halt and have a heart attack.

fun times guys. FUN TIMES!

also, my aunt, mom and i did the water park, except it was like 70 degrees, so nobody else was stupid enough to stand in line for any of the rides and we did like every slide in about 8 minutes flat.

one of the slides was a family-style raft that could hold up to two adults. there were three of us though, so i was planning to go down alone. except the crazy life guard lady was spouting off about some weight distribution crap. luckily (?) there was a random teenage boy up there whose friends had ditched him and went down without him.

and my mom was all “CRYSTAL RIDE WITH HIM!” and i was like “SHHH! MOM! NO!” in a loud whisper.

alas, the only other choice was to walk down the stairs again, so he and i sucked it up and went down together. and im telling you that boy lept out of that raft quicker than a kangaroo at the bottom of that slide and walked away from me.

i didn’t take it personally though, because im cool like that.

later i want to share a post about how everything i need to know in life i learned at six flags, but i haven’t quite finished it, so you’ll have to wait a bit for that.

in the meantime feel free to watch this video that some crazy person took with what i can only assume is a cell phone camera on the vertical velocity and then posted on youtube. no it wasn’t me, and yes, it’s WAY scarier in person:

OMG! Public Enemies was so COOL!!

Published: July 1, 2009 / Updated: July 1, 2009 Crystal Johnny Depp, medium, movie review

NOTE: Don’t worry. There are no spoilers in this post:

i did in fact go to the mid-night (12:01) showing last night and i had six of my family members in tow (mom, sister, my sister’s neice, two cousins and a brother).

and, ok. the movie was a little confusing, and i wouldn’t have been opposed to say, johnny depp maybe wearing a bright red shirt for the whole movie and christian bale wearing say, a bright blue shirt, so i could make sure they were in in fact not the other guys who just go shot who looked JUST like depp or bale and were wearing the same exact outfit and hat.

but, you know, other than that, i have no complaints.

for crist’s sake JOHNNY DEPP WAS IN EVERY SCENE!

ok. not every scene. but seriously 9 out of 10 scenes had his wonderful, wonderful face in it.

granted, this blog post probably has more words in it than all the dialogue in that movie.

but HOLY COW THE ACTION!

there with was SO. MUCH. ACTION!

BANG!

BOOM!

GUN SHOT!

MORE GUN SHOTS!

PRISON BREAK!

BANK ROBBERY!

MORE GUN SHOTS!

sigh.

it was so cool.

also, seeing all the oshkosh scenes was super cool. and don’t worry, i made sure to poke my mom every freaking time there was an oshkosh scene and whisper “THAT’S OSHKOSH.”

and if i go with you, i can totally do the same.

and YES, i will go with you.

i will go see this movie three million times. ish.

and then i will buy the dvd.

and then i will buy the dvd with bonus features.

because it was SO.COOL!