September 2009 – Page 4 – The only certainty is bad grammar

hanging out with the past

Published: September 11, 2009 / Updated: September 11, 2009 Crystal feminism?, humor, im cool, medium

my friend donell is in town.

I’m just going to go ahead and carelessly throw his name into this post because I don’t believe him when he says he reads my blog.

he and i go way back to that one party in high school where i wore the red heels. oh. and prom. we went to my prom together. mostly we just fought the whole time, but that was because we were two stupid teenagers. plus, he totally started it.

Anywho, he’s in town from Texas. or maybe Louisiana. I’m not exactly sure where he lives these days. somewhere down south.

We keep in touch via Facebook pokes and birthday texts enough though that I wanted to at least see him while he visited the land of lincoln. you know, to make sure he was still as cute in person as his profile picture led me to believe.

I knew the whole thing would be supa surreal, but that didn’t stop it from being SUPA SURREAL.

I like to think I’m 10 years older than i was when i was 16, what with the calendar telling me so and whatnot. but when i hang out with him it’s like im a little girl hoping he’ll hug me good-bye. I lose all ability to interpret secret boy code or come off as any sort of charming.

the whole thing was made even stranger because our other friend Jason also joined the group. (again, throwing his name out there because im pretty sure he was just being polite when he took my blog card).

i went to homecoming with Jason. we didn’t fight the whole time, but i do remember yelling at him while we sat at an intersection. or, wait. maybe that was a different day. no. no. it was homecoming. i remember wearing the blue and black dress while i scolded him by name.

anyway, both of these guys were just the very coolest in my teenage eyes.

i dreamed of the day when i’d be able to dance with jason without bumping my head on his (yes. that happened). or when donell would deem me worthy of official “girlfriend” status (that never ended up happening).

but as i hung out with these guys and all their friends Thursday night i realized that it wasn’t a matter of cool versus uncool, it was a matter of different.

i had to hang out with them growing up because my world didn’t extend beyond a five-mile radius of my house. but i’ve gotten older since then. i’ve gotten a car, an education, and a VZNavigator.

i found my way to people like me. people who care about the potential impact of social media on our lives. people who read newspapers and watch the West Wing on DVD. people who don’t get high every freaking day.

well, donell’s at least ON facebook i guess, but i’d bet my blackberry that Jason doesn’t even know what a status update is.

they care about the latest local bands, the pros and cons of Miller Lite or Old Sytle and umm, ya. i think that’s pretty much it.

just because i don’t, doesn’t mean im not cool though.

one of the first things i did when i exchanged pleasantries with Jason was offer my blog card. (it’s a habit i have). and as i handed it to him, he asked why i’d never been to one of his band’s shows.

that’s when i figured it all out.

umm, jason, i haven’t gone to any of your shows because i HATE the type of music you play and only went while 16 because i had a mad crush on you. why in gutair’s name would i put myself through that for any other reason?

now, none of that is a slam on jason’s music. it’s just a reflection of reality.

all of us are different.

and the only reason we ever tolerated each other in the first place was that we couldn’t see anything more than 5 miles away.

thank God for google maps.

The story of how I met Hugh MacLeod and he SIGNED MY BOOK!

Published: September 9, 2009 / Updated: September 9, 2009 Crystal humor, im cool, long

A few months ago I got this book called “Ignore everybody. and 39 other keys to creativity.” and I read it in one sitting. and then I read it again. and then I showed it to everyone I know. And then I read it again. I loved it as much as nearly as much as I love johnny depp.

The author Hugh MacLeod became my hero. The man made me want to be a better person, with his awesome advice such as “Never try to sell a meteor to a dinosaur. it wastes your time and annoys the dinosaur.” AND “Quality isn’t job number one. Being totally f*cking amazing is job number one.” (except he didn’t use a star in the F-word, like I did – he’s a little bit cooler than me).

because I love him so much, I facebook-stalked him. and then I twitter-stalked him. and one time I tweeted about how he was my hero, and he @ replied!

author sigh.

yesterday I was doing my daily facebook stalk of his profile, when I saw this magical, amazing, wonderful post:

#Chicago #Tweetup tonight with @gapingvoid and @vinnywarren: Felix Hotel (at the bar). 111 W. Huron (@ Clark) 7pm.

holy crap. I LIVE by chicago! I could totally go to that!!

for about three seconds, I worried about imposing on some sort of close-door meeting meant only for his real-life friends, so I Facebook-ed him to be sure it was an open invitation.

He said:

Sure, come along! See you there 🙂

Can I get an “OMG!”

I pulled out the dangling silver earrings, a lovely purple top and greet heels.

All I needed was my voice. Not like, my “writer’s voice.” My actual real voice.

Laryngitis had left me sounding like a bar whore who’d been living on a pack a day for 43 years while also regularly attending rock concerts. I was scratchy and squeaky and awful. I drank hot tea, refused to talk to anyone all afternoon and hoped for the best.

The best didn’t happen.

When I arrived, I squeaked out a “heeeloo.”

Everyone assured me that I sounded like a jazz singer, which helped (ish) but even still, I kept pretty quiet and mostly just looked around in wonder and amazement, while everyone told WAY cooler stories than anything I could come up with.

And anyway, my secret plan really was just to get Hugh to sign my book. I didn’t want to look crazy though, so when I came in, I hid it in my coat. (I’m sure the large square-shaped thing in my pocket was TOTALLY sly).

After about an hour, I worked up the nerve to ask his business manager if I’d be weird to ask for an autograph. He gave me the “you’re such a silly little girl. yes you are. oh yes you are” look, and said “It’d be fine.”

Not only did Hugh sign it though, he also drew a picture! (this is exciting because he’s a cartoonist).

Best night eva.

le sigh.

I’m pretty sure he just got a new fan for life.

Just in case you think I’m making the whole thing up, here’s proof that I really am cool. It’s a picture of Hugh holding the book he signed for me (you can see how it would be hard to fit in a coat pocket):

my grandma lindell had wonderful coffee-colored hair

September 6, 2009 Crystal Uncategorized

im watching the sound of music while waiting for mad men to start.

i used to watch the sound of music when i was like 9 at my grandma lindell’s house. i’d sit in front of her wooden TV and lean against her coffee table. i knew the movie was long, because holy crap it was TWO vhs tapes. except, im pretty sure i didn’t say things like “holy crap” when i was 9. also, i didn’t say VHS, because dvd wasn’t a thing, so there was no need to specify. i probably said something more along the lines of “this is the longest movie ever. there are TWO tapes.”

i miss my grandma lindell very much.

she died in 2006.

and it sucked.

i always wonder what she would think of my life now. what she would think of my job, and where i live, and how i look, and the stories on my blog.

she was beautiful. with wonderful coffee-colored hair and gorgeous olive skin that looked radiant no matter how old she got.

she was articulate. two-hour phone calls with her were not uncommon because she loved talking with us.

and i like to think i get my “say whatever im thinking” attitude from her. she was just cool like that.

i wish i could go visit her. or call her up. or just send her a card.

she used to send me cards every year on my birthday. and she always wrote long poems inside them. but i was stupid and i didn’t keep them in a beautiful fire-proof box like i should have. instead, i let all of them becomes victims of carelessness.

even though she died almost three years ago, i didn’t go visit her gravestone until this summer.

i’d been in town before. i’d driven past the cemetery. but i couldn’t do it before this summer.

it was too weird.

i wasn’t ready.

you’re never ready though.

i wasn’t even ready this summer.

but i knew i had to see her. i had to see where she was spending her time these days.

i’ts not so bad. the grass seems to be well maintained. and she over looks the town that became a part of her soul. plus, im sure she’s happy to be just down the road from her church.

my grandma lindell was very strong catholic. the religion still brings a piece of her to me. i do the cross after communion at my methodist church mostly just because it reminds me of going to mass with her as a child.

i used to be so annoyed that she’d wake me up to go to 7:30 a.m. mass with her, but of course i’d give anything to wake up with the sun and tag-a-long now.

shortly before she died, she told me she was ready to go. that she was ready to be in heaven.

and her faith, expressed without doubt, helps me believe in God everyday.

i just miss her so much.

i found an old picture of her today while going through some boxes. a picture of her at her best with a great smile and the sun lighting up the exact right parts of her face.

i set it next to my bed. this way she can see what my life is like now. and i can tell her about my job. and she can see where i live, and how i look and she can even hear about my blog.

im pretty sure i don’t need to visit her gravestone to let her know about any of those things.

because we’re just cool like that.