Vicarious TV

Hello. My name is Crystal Lindell. I’m addicted to reading recaps of TV shows that I don’t actually watch.

For example, I haven’t actually seen the show “Big Love” since, umm, 2007, but I religiously read entires about it on Tuned In and What’s Allen Watching.

I do the same for “Scrubs”, “30 Rock,” “Cougar Town,” “Big Bang Theory,” “How I Met Your Mother,” “SNL”, “House”, and “Men of a Certain Age” (a show that I have not actually ever seen one episode of ever).

For real.

I used to tell myself that I was just going to read the recap and watch the episode later. But later comes, and then I don’t want to watch the show because I already read what happened.

It’s a vicious cycle people!

To be honest, I didn’t even actually think this was like a problem, problem until about 30 seconds ago.

My friend (@Dijea) Tweeted me that the movie Shutter Island  is based on a book. My first reaction was to Google the book. A normal person would do this so they could buy it.

I did not.

I did it so I could find a summery of the book – complete with ending – and therefore not have to read the ACTUAL book. My habit of “reading to avoid watching” has now mutated into a habit where I “read to avoid reading!”

I blame Twitter.

And my Blackberry.

And Wikipedia.

They’ve morphed me into some sort of knowledge junkie. The more information I crave though, the less time I have to learn things the old-fashioned way (living), so instead, I just scour for tidbits everywhere.

Plus, I mean, holy crap, who the heck has an extra 30 minutes of their life to give up in the name of “Cougar Town” when it’s just easy to read how “Bobby and Andy [horrified] Grayson with their keg-pumping routine, and Andy [woke] up in can jail and Grayson discovered “Seacrest Out” written on his torso.?”

Sure, none of that really makes much sense to me, seeing as how I’ve only watched about three solid episodes. But it reads funny enough. And I just keep coming back for more.

I can’t stop myself.

I do however, somehow find the time to watch “Say Yes to the Dress” on TLC every week, even though I am currently more single than a solitaire player.

WAIT!

HOLY CRAP!

I just realized I’m living vicariously through THAT show.

Frick.

I need to get a life.

Or at least get rid of my computer/blackberry/internet.

And maybe TLC, just to be safe.

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The economy is still crap. Ug.

So, umm, when do you guys think either God or Obama will fix the economy? Because I have to say, I’m getting a bit impatient.

It’s been like two years dude.

And for newspapers, it’s been like eleven.

I, for one, wouldn’t mind seeing this crap cleaned up by say, St. Patrick’s Day.

Who’s with me?!

Everyone?

Great.

I’ll let God and Obama know first thing.

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Tomorrow is Groundhog Day. Tomorrow is Groundhog Day. Tomorrow is Groundhog Day.

1. Tomorrow is Groundhog Day, which is kind of a big freaking deal in my town because they filmed the only movie ever made ever about the holiday right here in Woodstock. The groundhog is slated to emerge at about 7 a.m., when I will be sleeping. Don’t fret though, I already made Woodstock Willie a deal involving grasshoppers and berries, so I’m pretty sure we can expect highs in the mid-60s by this time next week.

2. I’m still broke.

3. I need a pair of cross-trainer shoes so I can do Jazzercise again, but I have no money. (See: no.2). And I wanted to get a pair of shoes on clearance or something at Wal-Mart, but the only ones there that didn’t totally suck were $23. And I’m not abouts to spend $23 on some shoes that barely meet the minimum requirement of not sucking. So, just for kicks (pun intended) I went the New Balance store, where the cross trainers fit like little pieces of sunshine. But they were $70, which is more money than I’m living on right now, so I couldn’t buy them. In conclusion, I haven’t done Jazzercise yet since THE SPRAIN. Also, do you want to buy me shoes?

4. Apture is jacked on my site, and sometimes I just want to call someone on a real phone and tell them to come over to my house and fix my internets for free. Is that too much to ask for a free product I use? No. Not it is no. For some reason, Apture, (the program that gives readers pop-out windows when they hover over my links) got rid of the external embed system I was using, and now I can’t figure out how to fix the internal embed system, which I now HAVE to use, and I’m too tired to work it out. In the meantime, you will need to just click on things if you want to see what I linked to.

5. RE: Half a person, now, with Art! I know I already posted this “before” picture of me, but I have a new “after” picture, and when I look at it on my computer I have to keep reminding myself that it’s um, ME! So I was like, screw it, it’s MY blog, and I can post a new set of before and after pictures any freaking time I want. Am I right?

So here you go:

One more time, before:  June, 2009

weightcrystal

After (new and improved): Jan. 31, 2010

IMG00739

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