On fasting slowly

I recently fasted for 24 hours in an effort to bring attention to world hunger. I had never fasted before, and I’m not going to lie, it kind of sucked was really hard. Below are my thoughts in real time. Ish. Also, if you would like to donate to the cause, see here.

FRIDAY
8:30 a.m.
Haven’t eaten yet. Feeling really hungry. Last ate about 8 p.m. the night before. Had originally thought the fast would start at 6 p.m. tonight, and I’m trying to decide if I can do the whole 30 hours.
9 a.m.
I start searching for co-workers to justify me eating. I find one! She says she’s Jewish and she has fasted for Yom Kimpor. She said the whole point is to make me think, which, you know, makes me think. I tell her I want to do noon to noon. She says, that would still be a long time and I jump at the rationalization.
9:30 a.m.
I decide officially to do noon to noon. I eat some oatmeal and Craisins, plan to eat McDonald’s for lunch and then nothing else until noon tomorrow.
10:20 a.m.
I’m already hungry again after the oatmeal. I suck at this.
10:41 a.m.
Food is so tricky for me. I have so many eating issues. (see: weight, loss). I have to really think about my reasons for eating all the time. It’s so weird to me that my issue is over eating, when others are having trouble finding food. It’s cliche and I hate it.
11:43 a.m.
Just finished my McDonald’s. Time to start fasting. (I’m scared). (Wait, does soda count?)
12:14 p.m.
Debating whether I should do my usual workout tonight or not. I want to go.
12:35 p.m.
Really happy I decided to eat the McDonald’s. I also prayed for the food to nourish my body and help me get through the next day. It seems to have helped.
2:41 p.m.
I keep forgetting that I’m fasting and then considering reaching for something to munch on, and then remembering that I’m fasting. Really makes me realize how accessible food is for us.
3:04 p.m.
I have left over Chinese food at home and I was just seriously thinking about eating it after work. MUST.RESIST.FOOD!
7 p.m.
So tired and ready to go to sleep. Did not end up working out. Decide to read my Bible and pray. And really, I’ve been praying throughout the whole thing for strength.
10 p.m.
Seriously. I’m a little dizzy. My friend Tom Loewy talks about how fasting in itself makes you hungry. He says, it’s easy to go from noon to noon without food if you’re not thinking about it, but when you make a conscious decision to do it, suddenly you’re hungry 20 minutes in. I agree. Also, there’s toffee on my kitchen table and I really want some.
11:13 p.m.
Thinking a lot about the hierarchy of needs pyramid and how hard it is to do anything when you’re thinking about food. My whole night has mostly been shot because I didn’t work out or do laundry because I was too hungry.
SATURDAY
7 a.m.
I’m really, really hungry. I pray for strength. Seriously start to think about how crazy this is.
8:13 a.m.
Have decided it’s now appropriate to start counting down until noon.
10:27 a.m.
I’m just going to leave my house now and drive to the CiCi’s were I’m meeting up with youth group folk to break the fast. Maybe if I get there early, the fast will end early.
11 a.m.
Ok. I’m literally an hour early. Also, hungry. So close.
Noon.
Huzzah! The fast is broken. My first bite is a brownie. Best. Brownie. Ever. Thinking maybe I will never do this again. Unless it’s like driving long distances, in that you forget how much you hated it each summer and do it again. Either that, or next time I’ll just give up Facebook.

FRIDAY

8:30 a.m.

Haven’t eaten yet. Feeling really hungry. Last ate about 8 p.m. the night before. Had originally thought the fast would start at 6 p.m. tonight, and I’m trying to decide if I can do the whole 30 hours.

9 a.m.

I start searching for co-workers to justify me eating. I find one! She says she’s Jewish and she has fasted for Yom Kippur. She said the whole point is to make me think, which, you know, makes me think. I tell her I want to do noon to noon. She says, that would still be a long time and I jump at the rationalization.

9:30 a.m.

I decide officially to do noon to noon. I eat some oatmeal and Craisins, plan to eat McDonald’s for lunch and then nothing else until noon tomorrow.

10:20 a.m.

I’m already hungry again after the oatmeal. I suck at this.

10:41 a.m.

Food is so tricky for me. I have so many eating issues. (see: weight, loss). I have to really think about my reasons for eating all the time. It’s so weird to me that my issue is over eating, when others are having trouble finding food. It’s cliche and I hate it.

11:43 a.m.

Just finished my McDonald’s. Time to start fasting. (I’m scared). (Wait, does soda count?)

12:14 p.m.

Debating whether I should do my usual workout tonight or not. I want to go.

12:35 p.m.

Really happy I decided to eat the McDonald’s. I also prayed for the food to nourish my body and help me get through the next day. It seems to have helped.

2:41 p.m.

I keep forgetting that I’m fasting and then considering reaching for something to munch on, and then remembering that I’m fasting. Really makes me realize how accessible food is for us.

3:04 p.m.

I have left over Chinese food at home and I was just seriously thinking about eating it after work. MUST.RESIST.FOOD!

7 p.m.

So tired and ready to go to sleep. Did not end up working out. Decide to read my Bible and pray. And really, I’ve been praying throughout the whole thing for strength.

10 p.m.

Seriously. I’m a little dizzy. My friend Tom Loewy talks about how fasting in itself makes you hungry. He says, it’s easy to go from noon to noon without food if you’re not thinking about it, but when you make a conscious decision to do it, suddenly you’re hungry 20 minutes in. I agree. Also, there’s toffee on my kitchen table and I really want some.

11:13 p.m.

Thinking a lot about the hierarchy of needs pyramid and how hard it is to do anything when you’re thinking about food. My whole night has mostly been shot because I didn’t work out or do laundry because I was too hungry.

SATURDAY

7 a.m.

I’m really, really hungry. I pray for strength. Seriously start to think about how crazy this is.

8:13 a.m.

Have decided it’s now appropriate to start counting down until noon.

10:27 a.m.

I’m just going to leave my house now and drive to the CiCi’s were I’m meeting up with youth group folk to break the fast. Maybe if I get there early, the fast will end early.

11 a.m.

Ok. I’m literally an hour early. Also, hungry. So close.

Noon.

Huzzah! The fast is broken. My first bite is a brownie. Best. Brownie. Ever. Thinking maybe I will never do this again. Unless it’s like driving long distances, in that you forget how much you hated it each summer and do it again. Either that, or next time I’ll just give up Facebook.

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I am Christian

I am not Christan because it’s cool. I am Christian because I love God and Jesus and because the Holy Spirit moves inside me. I don’t want to force my beliefs on to you. I want to share them because I know they are powerful and real and because Jesus saves. I don’t just want to show up to church, I want to be church in the world. To me, being Christ-like doesn’t just mean friendly, or happy or nice. It means looking at the world and doing something to make it better. It means that I will do hard things, and pray hard prayers.  It means I will not always be happy, but it also means I will always know love. I am Christian.

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On traveling

I got to go through a full-body scan at the airport today.

I’d like to think the TSA guy was all, “Now THAT girl looks like the kind of girl who could either be a super hero or a super villain, depending on her ambitions. So cool. She needs a scan.”

But I kind of think he instead was thinking, “Now THAT girl looks like she is too confused and scared to opt out. So lame. She needs a scan.”

I’m in Atlanta for a couple days for a candy convention (see: job, sweet), but the last time I flew, Ricky Martin was in the closet, 3 ounces of liquid meant a shot of hard liquor, and metal detectors were as intrusive as it got.

I was a little nervous about the whole thing and seeing as how I wear all my emotions on my face, I’m sure the TSA guy could tell I was an easy target. So over to the full body scan I went.

I’m not sure if it would have more or less classy for me to opt for the full-body pat down, but I decided to go with the flow and let them take a naked picture of me instead.

It’s for America after all.

Would it be too gross if I wrote right now that I’m wondering if they could see that I was wearing a tampon? Oh. It would be? Too late.

Hey, somebody had to ask the question.

Anyway, luckily, I passed and got to put my shoes back on.

The flight itself was rather uneventful, except for the fact that it still amazes me that people can fly.

WHEEEEE!!! Look at the houses!!! They look like toys!!!!!! WHEEEE!!!! We’re above the clouds!!! THIS IS AMAZING!!!! WHEEEE!!!

Anyway. Where was I? Oh yes. The flight. Uneventful, etc, etc. I’m also staying in a super amazing hotel, with a circle window and view of the downtown that includes the CNN Center. (A little part of my news soul is intensely impressed by that).

It’s all very exciting.

But, ok. Can I be honest? (Aside from the tampon comment).  I had to miss the high school youth group at my church tonight, and my heart is actually a little broken because of it.

One of the parent leaders called and left me a voicemail to tell me that it all went fine and that the youth did not burn down our church tent or anything. But, when I was listening to it, I teared up because I was so sad that I couldn’t be there.

I love every single one of those kids so much.

Ever. Single. One.

With all my heart and soul and spirit.

And so even though I’m in hotlanta enjoying the 60-degree days, and the view of the CNN Center, I secretly have spent more time than is healthy wishing I was in an old farm house with a bunch of teenagers tonight eating pizza.

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