Norton Antivirus needs an antidote

Holy pop-ups, can someone, somewhere in techland please kill Norton for me? A slow death that involves lazers, mace, tire marks, antibiotics and perhaps some sort of STD would be preferable, but a fast death also would suffice.

For realz guys. The stupid program is driving me insane.

Every 24 hours, it’s all HELLO! PLEASE RENEW NOW! HELLO! LOOK AT ME! LOOK AT ME! RENEW NORTON ANTI-VIRUS NOW! IF YOU DON’T RENEW RIGHT THIS VERY SECOND YOU’RE A HORRIBLE COMPUTER MOM! SO RENEW! NOW!!

I tried to tell it nicely that I’m too broke for such things. I tried to just click it away. But then, BAM. the next day, it’s back. It’s like an annoying co-worker who makes you nod along to his stories about beef jerky all the time. Everyday I say I’m not interested. But everyday they both come back.

I tried to delete the program, but it just gave me another pop-up saying I needed special permission. Seeing as how this is MY computer, the whole thing just made me hate it even more.

So then, I asked Google for help. But the suggestions I found there were slightly beyond what I felt comfortable doing to my Windows Vista, which isn’t really known for its ability to perform well under pressure and updates.

It’s almost as if Norton Antivirus has mutated into a virus that’s even more annoying than any of the viruses it’s not even protecting me from.

Kind of like how crutches make your arms hurt after you ankle heals. Except not at all. And worse.

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Happy me.

I had so much blissful, chocolate-covered-with-a-cherry-on-top fun today that I don’t want to go to sleep.

I just keep scrolling back over to the  camera-phone pictures I uploaded to Facebook so I can see it all again.

There’s me at the Chicago Diner and there’s that awesome picture of the skyline. OH! OH! And there’s me holding Bronson’s martini glass so I can look cool.

I have not lately been as calm as I was sipping my $8 hot-chocolate-with-caramel-minus-the-marshmallows in the Signature Room at the Hancock. Looking down over the entire city of golden lights and black diamond buildings and a pond so big they call it a lake, I was all-good.

The world was small. And I could conquer it any day of the week. Twice on Sunday.

Sometimes I forget that I have that ability. Bronson made me remember though.

For all of today.

And I was just me.

Just happy me.

There. I’m done now. Feel free to puke from the joy of it all.

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I was born in ’83 for those keeping track.

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A city to love.

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No alcohol was used in the making of this picture.

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Hey there!

OMG, if you’re not a bears fan, I’m sorry but!

I don’t think they’re going to fire Lovie!

My friend Jeff at work, who always knows everything about sports like a psychic or something, explained it all to me, and he doesn’t think they’re going to fire him because of the stupid $11 million they’d have to pay him and really the team needs to spend that on a new offensive line, and Jeff was totally right about Rio getting the Olympics, so ya.

Boo.

I’m so mad at him.

Lovie. Not Jeff.

It’s going to be so hard to trust him next year after the mess he led our team into this year.

“The 2009 Bears! Hey, at least we beat the Vikings that one time.”

Moving on, I have no pants.

Well, I have like one pair of black pants, but really, even though I bought them like a month ago – they’re too big. And I can’t even wear heels with them to make them look less “too big” because of my stupid ankle.

I used to just wear dark jeans to work hoping nobody would notice, but now umm, I can’t, and it is too darn cold to wear a skirt, so I have to get more pants. Back in the day (July) I thought shopping was lame because nothing ever fit me right, but now, I fit in appropriate sizes and let me tell you – shopping is still really freaking hard.

Seriously.

I should be out getting pants right now. I’m not.

And really, I need to just suck it up and buy the pants that are are size too small, but kind of fit and trust that I’ll eventually lose another 8 pounds (as had been my track record for the last five months) and then I will have pants that fit for a long time, but I’m scared I’ll jinx myself and never lose the next 8 pounds.

Oh, and also, why does nobody sell jewelry boxes?

I really need one because I have a bunch of earrings now and woah, do those things randomly get lost a lot. But I cannot find one anywhere and now I’m  going to have to go to Claire’s and it might have to be neon pink.

Oh and guess what?! My friend Krista has been moving her WordPress.com blog over to her own domain and she got this photo widget thing and then she told ME about it. And now I can send pictures to my blog with a TEXT MESSAGE!! YAY! (Look to your right under ‘Can you see me now.’).

I predict that this will mean many fun times for us. Also, if you read me on RSS, you should click on my actual site and look at my pictures. 🙂

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