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Election Eve: I’m so proud of my little sister

Published: November 5, 2012 / Updated: November 5, 2012 Crystal go (candidate x), humor, short

My little sister Monica is pretty much the most amazing thing in the entire Continental United States.

When she plays volleyball images of the Olympics flash through your brain, when she writes a paper, you wonder how she is yet to be published and when you see her beautiful pencil-tight curls in a photo, you start to think maybe she can live out her dream of being “a dancer, a model or a singer.”

She also loves God like a rock star, can help you plan a party or a youth group event like a professional and navigates better than Google Maps.

Plus, she laughs at pretty much all my jokes.

But I have to say, I have never been more proud of her than when I found out what happened at her school’s mock election.

Apparently, she was chatting with a friend, and the two of them were holding full ballots for the presidential race as well as the local races and her friend was all, “I don’t know hot to fill this out.”

And Monica was all, “It’s easy, just mark all the ones with a “D” next to their name.”

It makes me want to cry tears of joy. Someone done raised her well.

Greetings from the sky!

September 17, 2012 Crystal humor, im cool

Greeting from 10,000 ft. up!

I’m currently on a flight to Reno, Nev. for work.

This is the first time I’ve ever used the in-flight wifi, and I’m pretty sure this means I can now officially claim to be a member of mile-high Facebook club, which is obviously a real thing and awesome.

I wish I could say I was off to Reno for something cool, like a quickie wedding, or a $10,000 poker game, or a meeting with Johnny Depp, but alas, it’s just for a candy convention. Which isn’t even in Reno. It’s in Lake Tahoe. I hear it’s beautiful there.

(Note to potential robbers: My brother lives with me and he’ll kick your butt if you try to steal our microwave while I’m out of town because you think the house is empty).

If you’re wondering, I scored a window seat on this flight. Getting up to use the bathroom means I have to crawl past two other passengers to get to the aisle while saying, “I’m sorry” 13 times in the process, but at least I get to lean on something while I nap.

Also, it means I get to spend as much time as I want looking at the world through my favorite perspective.

The cars whiz around like miniature Hotwheels, the clouds are so close you can touch them, and even the mountains seem small.

I wonder if this is how God sees the world when he looks down on us. And if it is, it’s no wonder He doesn’t understand why we worry so much. He’s sitting there in the heavens with the whole picture and we’re freaking out because we can’t see to the other side of the mini-bridge.

Which makes you realize, that most of the time, all we need is a little shift in perspective. Problems and success are usually smaller than they appear. We’re all part of something bigger than ourselves. The world is a much bigger place than we usually realize.

Also, for what it’s worth, peeing while flying is strange and cool no matter how old you are. I’m guessing even God understands that.

Maid of Honor Speech

September 10, 2012 Crystal humor, medium

Editor’s Note: My very best friend April got married this past weekend and I was the maid of honor. Below is the text to the toast I gave to the bride and groom.

Wow. Just. Wow.

April Colleen Eichele is married. Excuse me, April Colleen Fitzhugh.

Whatever her last name is though, this girl is Amazing.

Incredible actually. Absurdly wonderful, furiously beautiful, and outlandishly fantastic.

And thank God above she ended up with Shannon. Seriously. Thank you God for bringing this man into my best friend’s life. I’m so happy he exists on this planet and that she found him.

And how about is the incredible party these two threw? I cannot explain to you guys how much it means to everyone here that we have been privileged enough to be a part of your very intimate day. Thank you so much for that.

I first met April back when scrunchies were still cool. I knocked on her door, asked her to be my friend and the rest is history.

It’s been about 13 years since then now and it’s incredibly surreal that I am standing up her watching her get married to a real-life prince.

It seems like just a minute ago the two of us were playing Mario Kart on Nintendo, talking on the phone for weeks and eating Taco Bell three times a day.

Over the years, April has taught me so much.

Her tenacity has continually showed me that there’s always a way to solve a problem — whether it’s organizing a closet, finding a way to pay for college or just figuring out which dress to wear on a Friday night.

Her love of God has pulled me back from the dark nights of doubt and worry and given me hope and light more times than I can name.

And her heart has taught me there is such a thing as true friendship, and that two people really can work it out no matter what.

Because that’s how it is best friends. Even though life changes, and we grow up, and learn to drive, and get diplomas, and real jobs, and real apartments and real cars, and real boyfriends, there’s a core to the relationship that cannot ever be destroyed.

It’s as if they are sewn into our hearts in a way that guarantees they are permanently there.

And I can see now that Shannon is sewn into her heart in the same way. That he is now tied to her in a way that guarantees he is permanently there. And I’m so, so happy for that.

In fact, I would like to point out it was only a matter of days after Shannon and April’s first date that I called future-husband on him for her. Because I knew that this was the man who could see what I had always known — April is an incredible woman.

I wish you two more happiness than you thought was possible, more children than you can fit in your car and a more perfect love than either of you two thought was possible.

So, let’s raise our glasses to April and Shannon. May you kiss too many times, love too strongly and be showered with too many blessings. I love you both.