What the Q? Adventures in Scrabble.

I got a 50-point bonus in Scrabble tonight, which I have never, in my entire word-spelling life, done.

Ever.

“CANISTER.”

Bam. Look at that awesome word. That is my new favorite word. Except, I can’t even be freaking happy every time I open up some Folgers, because I lost the game.

Did you read that? I LOST.

I had a 50-freaking-point bonus (which is basically a Scrabble leprechaun riding on a unicorn) and I still lost.

Final score: 338 (him), 336 (me).

If this were football, it would be the equivalent of running the opening kick-off in for a touchdown, and then losing the freaking Super Bowl. (Oh. Sorry Hester. Still too soon? Wow. Ok. Ya. Sorry).

The Scrabble game was between myself and Mike, the guy I volunteer with once a month at the homeless shelter. You might wonder why I don’t have anything more interesting than a board game to talk about after just spending four hours at a homeless shelter, but in all honesty, Mike and I just sit in a church kitchen from 11 p.m. to 3 a.m., while everyone else sleeps in the open area behind us, and then the two of us say a silent prayer that nobody gets in a fight on our shift.

Plus, Mike is an evil-Scrabble genius who somehow got 98 points on single turns with strategic use of the letter Q. Seriously. 98 points. With a Q.

How is this not interesting?

I’m fairly certain he spends all of his waking free time practicing because there is no other way to account for the insane amount of points this man gets. Either that, or he’s cheating when I go to the bathroom.

Here are some visual aids just in case you want to steal our word ideas:

canister

– This is a picture of the board with my bonus word. It is very pretty, so I took a photo, which I will save forever. Also, the words “peon” and “few” both were totally mine and both totally gave me crap-tons of points.

mikeword

– This is Mike’s insane bonus word, which is really lame. I’ll probably delete this picture very soon so as not to ruin my affection for the word “canister.” Calm down Mike, I’m only kidding. (Mostly).

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Vicarious TV

Hello. My name is Crystal Lindell. I’m addicted to reading recaps of TV shows that I don’t actually watch.

For example, I haven’t actually seen the show “Big Love” since, umm, 2007, but I religiously read entires about it on Tuned In and What’s Allen Watching.

I do the same for “Scrubs”, “30 Rock,” “Cougar Town,” “Big Bang Theory,” “How I Met Your Mother,” “SNL”, “House”, and “Men of a Certain Age” (a show that I have not actually ever seen one episode of ever).

For real.

I used to tell myself that I was just going to read the recap and watch the episode later. But later comes, and then I don’t want to watch the show because I already read what happened.

It’s a vicious cycle people!

To be honest, I didn’t even actually think this was like a problem, problem until about 30 seconds ago.

My friend (@Dijea) Tweeted me that the movie Shutter Island  is based on a book. My first reaction was to Google the book. A normal person would do this so they could buy it.

I did not.

I did it so I could find a summery of the book – complete with ending – and therefore not have to read the ACTUAL book. My habit of “reading to avoid watching” has now mutated into a habit where I “read to avoid reading!”

I blame Twitter.

And my Blackberry.

And Wikipedia.

They’ve morphed me into some sort of knowledge junkie. The more information I crave though, the less time I have to learn things the old-fashioned way (living), so instead, I just scour for tidbits everywhere.

Plus, I mean, holy crap, who the heck has an extra 30 minutes of their life to give up in the name of “Cougar Town” when it’s just easy to read how “Bobby and Andy [horrified] Grayson with their keg-pumping routine, and Andy [woke] up in can jail and Grayson discovered “Seacrest Out” written on his torso.?”

Sure, none of that really makes much sense to me, seeing as how I’ve only watched about three solid episodes. But it reads funny enough. And I just keep coming back for more.

I can’t stop myself.

I do however, somehow find the time to watch “Say Yes to the Dress” on TLC every week, even though I am currently more single than a solitaire player.

WAIT!

HOLY CRAP!

I just realized I’m living vicariously through THAT show.

Frick.

I need to get a life.

Or at least get rid of my computer/blackberry/internet.

And maybe TLC, just to be safe.

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I believe

I believe in God.

I believe in prayer.

I believe that when you kill an animal, it suffers. (Even if it tastes like bacon later).

I believe in Google Voice.

I believe in spell check and word counts and putting the period after the parenthesis.

I believe that it is fantabulous to create words.

I believe in journalism. (I don’t believe in the business model).

I believe in vitamins and hand sanitizer and Kleenex with lotion.

I believe in universal health care and a single-payer system.

I believe the world will not end in 2012.

I believe in going to church. (I don’t believe in a perfect church, but I don’t believe that’s the point).

I believe that when you twist a straw wrapper in half and the knot pulls through, someone you love is thinking about you.

I believe in life on other planets. (And I believe that to not, is narcissistic).

I believe tithing can be your money or your time.

I believe that people can change. (But I don’t believe it happens very often).

I believe in flossing daily and brushing your teeth at least twice a day.

I believe in giving someone the benefit of the doubt when they ask you for $5 on a street corner.

I believe in giving everyone the benefit of the doubt at least once.

I believe in beeswax for lip balm and that shaving cream really is better than plain soap for shaving.

I believe in wearing jeans to work as often as possible.

I believe in TIME magazine.

I believe that football and Great America have done just as much to bond my family as any of the dozens of tragedies we’ve endured, but with a much sweeter process.

I believe you can drive on spare tire for at least 300 miles before you really need to get it replaced.

I believe that oil change guidelines aren’t set in stone.

I believe in keeping  jumper cables in your car.

I believe that I could live on Taco Bell.

I believe that getting my hair dyed and my eyebrows waxed are good investments.

I believe that 12 is young, and 30 is old.

I believe in the possibility that my beliefs will change.

I believe everyone should.

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