blog – The only certainty is bad grammar

YAY! MY BLOG IS WORKING / i used to hate godaddy but now i love it

Published: September 2, 2009 / Updated: September 2, 2009 Crystal humor, medium

hey there!

i missed you SO MUCH.

not being able to blog sucks.

as you may have noticed, my site was down for about a day because of some stupid problem at GoDaddy.

and at first, i was all ‘man, my new site design must be jacked up. i need to change it to something more plain ASAP.’

but then i couldn’t even get into to my freaking blog to change it because MY SITE WAS DOWN.

so then i thought ‘i will give it a few hours and see if it fixes itself.’

but it didn’t.

and them my mom called and was all ‘your site isn’t working’

and i was like FRICK. FINE! i shall call GoDaddy’s tech support.

i waited on hold for about 25 minutes, so they could tell me that they were aware of the problem and that it would be fixed ‘sometime.’

i figured i would go to sleep, and wake up to my blog magically fixing itself.

alas, that didn’t happen.

and because i wanted my readers to know that i was totally aware of the fact that my stupid site was down, and because i really was checking out other hosting companies while getting p*ssed about my site, i tweeted:

“dude, if GoDaddy doesn’t fix its stupid server soon, im going to have to look at other hosting services. this is NUTS.”

and i shyte you not, about 15 minutes later GoDaddy called me on my cell phone offering to fix the problem.

Viola! just like that. and they were all ‘we saw your twitter and want to help.’

i was seriously feeling some tweet power.

and after a few minutes, i was convinced to switch my site over to a different server at GoDaddy that’s more powerful and better for blogs. a free better server. free for everyone 🙂

yes, it took a few steps, but the GoDaddy handled most of it and by about 8:30 p.m. my beautiful wonderful blog was up and running!!

im not going to lie, there was about 7 minutes in between me giving the GoDaddy man all my info on my site and hosting and them getting it up and running where i worried that i had just givien all my info on my site and hosting to a scam artist.

but then i realized that my phone number is not directly listed on twitter or my blog, so said scam artist would have had to do some crazy digging to call my cell. and i just can’t imagine anyone wanted to go through all that work to rip off the sevenlayerburritos.com domain name.

well, unless it was taco bell i guess. but even that seems crazy.

in conclusion: my site is working wonderfully, i’m sticking with GoDaddy, and twitter really is fixing the world one tweet at a time.

see. this is why you shouldn’t have a stupid anonymous blog.

Published: July 28, 2009 / Updated: July 28, 2009 Crystal humor, medium, vegan

Dear SCVegan,

where the heck ARE you?

as my most loyal commenter it took me all of two posts to notice your absence. alas, i thought perhaps you had just decided i was no longer funny.

but now, it’s been a few weeks, and not only have you stopped responding to my musings, but you also haven’t blogged or tweeted yourself since June 29.

and im not going to lie. im worried about you.

seriously. im freaking out over here.

i even sent you a concerned e-mail in which i asked if you were perhaps trapped under a large bookshelf, but you have yet to reply.

the worst part of this whole mess is that i cannot even find you if i wanted to.

all i know is that you are vegan; you most likely live in santa clarita, california; one of your names is nolan; and you work for a t-shirt design company.

yes, i HAVE typed all those things into Google, but even the master of search cannot help me with this.

i recently resorted to asking quarrygirl about you on twitter. sadly though, she doesn’t know where you are either.

my roommate insists that you are probably just on vacation, but i explained to her that people surly can at least tweet while out of town.

this whole travesty could have been avoided if you had just posted your full name on your site or sent me your phone number or SOMETHING!

instead, im left to sit here on my couch, worried that the worst has happened, while hoping that maybe someone just stole your laptop and you haven’t had time to go the library to use the interweb.

in conclusion, i really hope someone stole your lap top.

sincerely, love,

crystal

promoting my blog may be starting to make me look crazy

Published: April 25, 2009 / Updated: April 25, 2009 Crystal humor, im cool

all right. fine. asking to look at the guy’s iPhone at the bar Wednesday night so i could secretly plug my blog url into his web browser was crazy.

i can admit when i’m crazy.

it’s just that i love my blog so freaking much. like a child people.

a human child.

and i want to tell everyone i come in even brief contact with about it.

i have business cards, and magnets and tactics that include (but are not limited to): adding the link as a bookmark to people’s computers, twittering and facebooking the crap out of my entries, and calling my mom to remind her to check it.

in fact, a brief scan of the readers here would lead me to believe that most of you are reading this because i incessantly talk about my blog and you’re just trying to get me to shut up.

it’s a little something i like to call self-promotion/being confident/salesmanship.

qualities you HAVE to have in the new era of social media.

but since i’ve been spending so much time promoting my own d*mn blog, i figure i should take a hot minute to promote someone else’s blog. actually, five someone else’s blogs.

and erin.

those five girls inspired me to start this thing back in my oshkosh days.

and even though that job sucked hard core, their blogs all rock hard core. so you should go read them. now.

but then, come back here.

no. seriously. come back. i’m funny too.