The only certainty is bad grammar

I got to go through a full-body scan at the airport today.

I’d like to think the TSA guy was all, “Now THAT girl looks like the kind of girl who could either be a super hero or a super villain, depending on her ambitions. So cool. She needs a scan.”

But I kind of think he instead was thinking, “Now THAT girl looks like she is too confused and scared to opt out. So lame. She needs a scan.”

I’m in Atlanta for a couple days for a candy convention (see: job, sweet), but the last time I flew, Ricky Martin was in the closet, 3 ounces of liquid meant a shot of hard liquor, and metal detectors were as intrusive as it got.

I was a little nervous about the whole thing and seeing as how I wear all my emotions on my face, I’m sure the TSA guy could tell I was an easy target. So over to the full body scan I went.

I’m not sure if it would have more or less classy for me to opt for the full-body pat down, but I decided to go with the flow and let them take a naked picture of me instead.

It’s for America after all.

Would it be too gross if I wrote right now that I’m wondering if they could see that I was wearing a tampon? Oh. It would be? Too late.

Hey, somebody had to ask the question.

Anyway, luckily, I passed and got to put my shoes back on.

The flight itself was rather uneventful, except for the fact that it still amazes me that people can fly.

WHEEEEE!!! Look at the houses!!! They look like toys!!!!!! WHEEEE!!!! We’re above the clouds!!! THIS IS AMAZING!!!! WHEEEE!!!

Anyway. Where was I? Oh yes. The flight. Uneventful, etc, etc. I’m also staying in a super amazing hotel, with a circle window and view of the downtown that includes the CNN Center. (A little part of my news soul is intensely impressed by that).

It’s all very exciting.

But, ok. Can I be honest? (Aside from the tampon comment).  I had to miss the high school youth group at my church tonight, and my heart is actually a little broken because of it.

One of the parent leaders called and left me a voicemail to tell me that it all went fine and that the youth did not burn down our church tent or anything. But, when I was listening to it, I teared up because I was so sad that I couldn’t be there.

I love every single one of those kids so much.

Ever. Single. One.

With all my heart and soul and spirit.

And so even though I’m in hotlanta enjoying the 60-degree days, and the view of the CNN Center, I secretly have spent more time than is healthy wishing I was in an old farm house with a bunch of teenagers tonight eating pizza.

I feel less stressed.

And it’s pretty freaking awesome.

I am finally financially stable for the first time in my entire life. Seriously. My ENTIRE. LIFE.

I don’t have to worry about spending $3 on food the day before I get paid. I don’t have to drive with my fuel light on for long stretches of time. If someone asks me to go to dinner at Applebee’s, I don’t have to make myself sick worrying about whether or not that someone will pay for me or not. And, I can buy chap stick and toliet paper when I need them.

It’s all so great.

Also, I feel really happy with how I look. I feel comfortable with my body. For real. And it took me a long, long time to get here. But being here makes me smile.

I also love both my jobs.

I’m not going to lie, I went through some grief leaving behind daily newspapers. But it didn’t take me long to fall in love with an environment where my co-workers don’t constantly look like they’ve been hit in the back of a head with a hammer because they’re so stressed. Or where I work 8:30 a.m. to 4:15 p.m. Monday through Friday. (Yes those are my real hours). (It’s all right to be jealous). Or where we get a little time to REFLECT on our product without constantly having to put out the daily news.

Plus, I really do get as many candy samples as you’d think.

And I can’t even explain how great my job as a youth director is. Just imagine rainbows mixed with love and peace and fantastic and then add in hope and faith and you might kind of, sort of, start to understand.

So basically, in conclusion, life is pretty sweet right now. And I can really, truly appreciate it all because I went through crap and a half to get here.

So three makes it a trend. I’ve decided to again answer these questions for the new year. Feel free to see how far I’ve come in life by reading my past entries here and here.

1. What did you do in 2010 that you’d never done before?

I led a group of 19 kids and five adults on a mission trip to Florida and it was amazing and awesome and the words “life-changing” seems too lame to do it proper justice. Also, after that, I got a paid gig as a youth leader for a church. YAY GOD!

2. Did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year?

Last year I planned to get more oil changes, and I can safely say that I totally failed in the endeavor. Although I would like to point out that I finally got new brakes and those seem important. I guess my new year’s resolution for this year is to give up soda and to stress less and trust God more.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?

No, but my friend Stephanie is preggers!!! YAY!!

4. Did anyone close to you die?

No. Thankfully.

5. What countries did you visit?

I went to Florida. That counts right? Dudes, that car trip was 20 hours. EACH WAY!

6. What would you like to have in 2011 that you lacked in 2010?

A new car. My youth group kids make fun of my car all the time, and one time I was telling a story about how I had fixed my phone after getting it wet by putting it in a bowl of dry rice and then one kid was all, “Why don’t you put your car in a bowl of rice?” Personally, I think the black duct tape is classy.

7. What dates from 2009 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?

Last week in June. Mission trip change lives. Also,  the first Sunday in Aug., because that’s when I started at my new church. Also, Nov. 11 because.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?

I got a paid job as a youth leader, and somehow didn’t quit after enduring mice, a couple breakdowns, and mice.

9. What was your biggest failure?

I feel pretty good about the last year.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?

Just the usual sprained ankle.

11. What was the best thing you bought?

All my new Express jeans, which fit me because I lost weight. YAY! Also, I’ve bought a bunch of the youth group dinners for my high school youth group and the return on investment is insane on that pizza.

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?

God is awesome.

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?

Dating is rough.

14. Where did most of your money go?

Taco bell, car repairs, church stuff.

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?

God.

16. What song will always remind you of 2010?

“The guy that says good-buy to you is out of his mind” by Griffin House.

“Hold us together” by Matt Mahr

“Airplanes” by B.O.B.

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:

a) happier or sadder? Happier

b) thinner or fatter? About the same.

c) richer or poorer? Richer.

18. What do you wish you’d done more of?

Sleep.

19. What do you wish you’d done less of?

Facebook.

20. How did you spend Christmas?

At my Aunt Sandy and Uncle Glen’s house. We played Telestrations and I laughed so hard I almost died.

21. Did you fall in love in 2010?

I think so.

22. What was your favorite TV program?

Mad Men and Burn Notice.

23. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?

No.

24. What was the best book you read?

SOLO, a devotional that has daily tidbits about The Message version of the Bible.

25. What was your greatest musical discovery?

Griffin House and Matt Mahr.

26. What did you want and get?

A paid job as a youth director. To take the youth on a mission trip.

27. What did you want and not get?

Maybe a new car.

28. What was your favorite film of this year?

I really like the show Mad Men. Does that count?

29. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?

I turned 27, and I worked. I’m super cool like that. Also, I got a bajillion Facebook messages.

30. What’s one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?

I loved this year. But again, here I’m going with the mission trip.

31. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2010?

Express is my new favorite store.

32. What kept you sane?

God. April. Taco Bell. Starbucks.

33. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?

Obama.

34. What political issue stirred you the most?

The mid-term election.

35. Who do you miss?

It’s been about 8 years since he died, but I still miss Bob.

36. Who was the best new person you met?

All the awesome people at my new church.

37. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2010.

Do not stress. A bowl of dry rice can fix water damage to a phone. Walk into Target stores because if you run, you could sprain your ankle.

38. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.

“And love will hold us together/ Make us a shelter to weather the storm/ And I’ll be my brother’s keeper/ So the whole world will know that we’re not alone.”