if (candidate x) were president he’d probably fix all this

I finally did it. I finally freaking went to the Wisconsin DMV to get a license. I got all the stupid crap together that i could possibly need — my lease, a utility bill at least 30 days old but not more than 90 days old, my iowa license, my social security card, my work id and $40. 

I drove around in circles looking for the secret entrance across from festival foods. I parked a half block away in -3 degree weather. i took number 99 out of the little red number-giver and waited patiently even though when i got there they were on like 72 (ish). I pre-filled out the form not clearly labeled on the table in the waiting area with all my information.

I made small talk with some girl renewing her license about how the place just makes me nervous because i feel like im 16 and about to take the on-the-road test all over again.

They finally called my number and i went up to the counter with all my aforementioned crap.

and then.

they told me i would need my birth certificate.

WHAT?

“yes, ma’am you’ll need your birth certificate to prove your date of birth,” dmv clerk says.

“but i have my iowa licence with my birthday on it,” i said

“but you’ve never had a wisconsin id before. so it has to be your birth certificate,” dmv clerk says.

“but i don’t have my birth certificate. i just have my iowa id, my lease, my utility bill, my social security card, my work id and $40,” i say.

“well, you can also show us your passport for your date of birth,” she says.

“i don’t have that either. i only have my iowa id, my lease, my utility bill, my social security card, my work id and $40,” i say back.

“OH!, i know,” she says, and i think maybe she CAN help me. “you can show us your military id.”

“huh? i don’t have that either,” i say.

“well, sorry, i can’t give you a driver’s license today then,” she says WITHOUT a smile, like she doesn’t even care about customer service.

and that’s about when i started crying. and not because i NEED a wisconsin driver’s licence so my stupid credit union doesn’t freeze account (although i do), but because this all happened on Feb. 19 and i was planning to same-day register to vote with my wisconsin driver’s licence. and I HAD TO VOTE (for candidate x) because he had sent me a personalized e-mail the night before saying EVERY vote counts, especially mine.

and i got in the car and called my bff and she was all “why are you CRYING about this?” and i was “because i NEED to vote” and she was all “umm, ok.”

and then she helped me calm down as i drove around looking for my polling place hoping my lease, a utility bill at least 30 days old but not more than 90 days old, my iowa license, my social security card and my work id would be enough for me to same-day register.

I walked into the elementary school and told the woman that i wanted to same-day register. and she said i needed my wisconsin id. I said “I don’t have that, but I DO have my lease, a utility bill at least 30 days old but not more than 90 days old, my iowa license, my social security card and my work id.”

and she said that should be enough.

and it was. and i voted. for (candidate x). and i kind of cried some tears of joy. and then i bought something from the PTA bake sale at the elementary school and walked out to my car. and as soon as i pulled out of the parking lot (candidate x) sent me a txt telling me that MY vote matters. and i saved that txt so i can show it to my grandkids. or at least my mom.

and i have since looked into getting my birth certificate. and it turns out i can get one by sending $15, a self-addressed stamped envelope and copy of my iowa license to the vital records office in cook county. that’s right. to prove my birthday to wisconsin i need a birth certificate, which i can get with my iowa driver’s license.

i hate red tape. and for that matter that stupid red number-giver.

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this is america. shouldn’t i get to drive for free?

ok. ok. I GET it. I move. a lot. and sure, my licence plates are from South Dakota and my driver’s license is from Iowa and my cell phone number is from the Chicago suburbs and I kind of live in Wisconsin. but NONE of those things have actually expired, so i don’t want to get them replaced.

And, yes three months ago, someone DID tell me that I needed to get wisconsin plates and a wisconsin driver’s licence within two weeks of living here — but I think that’s probably just a myth. I mean it’s not like I’ve been pulled over for my South Dakota plates (which, by the way WERE voted the best in the country in 2007!).

AND when I showed the Illinois cop my iowa licence and my south dakota registration after the ONE accident I’ve been in since moving to Wisconsin, he didn’t seem to care that so many states we’re involved. and I just DON’T WANT to spend the $38 America’s Dairyland charges for a state driver’s licence, much less the $78 I’ll have to spend on plates. and to be honest, i also don’t really want to have to explain to the dmv workers why i have an iowa licence, even though I haven’t lived there in more than a year.

and i WOULD just go on living with all these various UNEXPIRED forms of identification, but NO, my stupid credit union wants me to get a Wisconsin Driver’s licence and I keep telling the nice tellers at my stupid credit union that i’ll get a wisconsin licence NEXT week, but it’s been like a month now, so I’m not sure if they’re buying it at this point. and the thing it, I really am just waiting until i have an extra $38 to spend on a stupid Wisconsin driver’s licence, but seeing as how my take-home pay is about $6, it’s kind of taking me awhile to save up.

So, now I’m in this weird situation where I’m scared to withdraw money from my credit union (not to brag but my account DOES have $22 in available balance in it) because even if convince the women there to let me withdraw my entire available balance with my iowa licence i STILL wouldn’t have enough for a (stupid) wisconsin licence.

and I really don’t understand what the big deal is, seeing as how I proved to my credit union that I live in the area they serve by showing them my lease like three months ago. 

in conclusion, if anyone has either a. tips on withdrawing money without a licence or b. about $38, feel free to let me know.  

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this is america. shouldn’t i get to drive for free?

ok. ok. I GET it. I move. a lot. and sure, my licence plates are from South Dakota and my driver’s license is from Iowa and my cell phone number is from the Chicago suburbs and I kind of live in Wisconsin. but NONE of those things have actually expired, so i don’t want to get them replaced.

And, yes three months ago, someone DID tell me that I needed to get wisconsin plates and a wisconsin driver’s licence within two weeks of living here — but I think that’s probably just a myth. I mean it’s not like I’ve been pulled over for my South Dakota plates (which, by the way WERE voted the best in the country in 2007!).

AND when I showed the Illinois cop my iowa licence and my south dakota registration after the ONE accident I’ve been in since moving to Wisconsin, he didn’t seem to care that so many states we’re involved. and I just DON’T WANT to spend the $38 America’s Dairyland charges for a state driver’s licence, much less the $78 I’ll have to spend on plates. and to be honest, i also don’t really want to have to explain to the dmv workers why i have an iowa licence, even though I haven’t lived there in more than a year.

and i WOULD just go on living with all these various UNEXPIRED forms of identification, but NO, my stupid credit union wants me to get a Wisconsin Driver’s licence and I keep telling the nice tellers at my stupid credit union that i’ll get a wisconsin licence NEXT week, but it’s been like a month now, so I’m not sure if they’re buying it at this point. and the thing it, I really am just waiting until i have an extra $38 to spend on a stupid Wisconsin driver’s licence, but seeing as how my take-home pay is about $6, it’s kind of taking me awhile to save up.

So, now I’m in this weird situation where I’m scared to withdraw money from my credit union (not to brag but my account DOES have $22 in available balance in it) because even if convince the women there to let me withdraw my entire available balance with my iowa licence i STILL wouldn’t have enough for a (stupid) wisconsin licence.

and I really don’t understand what the big deal is, seeing as how I proved to my credit union that I live in the area they serve by showing them my lease like three months ago. 

in conclusion, if anyone has either a. tips on withdrawing money without a licence or b. about $38, feel free to let me know.  

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