Dear God and Oshkosh city employee: Thank you

I lied. But in my defense I think this deserves a post.

Apparently ice is slippery or something. I’m not really sure, but I do know that you should never UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES try to break when you need to stop in this weather on said “slippery” ice.

I know. it SEEMS like braking would be the best choice to stop an all. and TRUST ME it’s your first instinct. But when your driving over snow and ice — especially if say, hypothetically, you have a tire that some car-repairman said you should fix so you don’t die when you drive and you hypothetically ignored that advice — what you should do is let your car glide to stop at red lights.

I’m stupid. So, when I was in driving along this morning I went ahead and followed my instincts — I braked.

And the first time, my car spun out and I thought ‘wow, stupid girl, you are SO lucky there were no cars around so that you didn’t just crash.’ (and don’t worry, there weren’t any cars around the second time either.)

A block later i saw a red light ahead and thought ‘probably a stop is going to be needed soon.’ At this point i braked (because it REALLY is your instinct) and I lost control of my car and slid off the road. (you saw that coming, didn’t you?). I barely missed a pole and so I thanked God for that (seeing as how my car insurance ALREADY is about the same as my rent each month, a car accident probably wouldn’t have been so good on  my record) After the prayer, I tried to back out of the 7 feet (ish) of ice i drove into.

FRIK! 

Alas, at this point i did the opposite of thank God.

My next first instinct (after the whole, break to stop thing) was to call my mom and cry. Realizing that if i did this my tears probably would freeze and my mom wouldn’t be able to help dig me out from three hours away, i thought I’d call work. I mean reporters ARE kind of like super heroes, so I figured AT LEAST one of them would come to help. Luckily, i didn’t have to beg anyone for help, because at that moment, God (that’s right, GOD) sent a city employee my way and then GOD told him to stop and dig me out. or maybe he just did that on his own. Either way, he was able to get me out of the 7 feet (ish) of ice that i had driven into. I said thank you, thank you, thank you, but his only reply was ‘straighten out your wheel when you try to back out.’ (i think he was cold).

I then drove about 4 miles per hour to work so i could avoid any breaking — and it only took about an hour to go three miles! so i made pretty good time.

Hopefully this stupid stupid stupid weather will end soon. Either that, or I should get new tires.

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i might be getting a couch

I know, I know. you’re thinking “but you JUST got a bed! it sounds like too much too soon.” And you’re right, I am scared of commitment. But I’m also sick of sitting on my air mattress when I watch the a daily show.  and my friend said something about how she got the couch off the back of a truck so i wouldn’t have to pay for it. and that sounds like a good plan to me.

Also, as soon as i get said furniture i plan to have people over for a dinner party. really. i do. of course i don’t have a kitchen table, so umm, that might be awkward.  Maybe a tv-watching party would be better.

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