Fine, I need a new car. Anyone want to buy me one?
On Sunday I was just church-ing along and whatnot and I got in my little emerald green two-door vehicle I lovingly refer to as Penelope with my sister and we attempted to set off for Taco Bell.
Except, you know, it wouldn’t go from park to reverse, or park to drive, or park to neutral or park to anything.
I’m not going to lie, it’s happened before. Once or twice or 20 times, but each time I just said a prayer and wiggled things and banged others and BAM it would shift.
This time, not so much. (I can only assume it finally decided to take out its anger at me for not ever getting oil changes).
Anyway, so before I started crying or whatever, I called some church people over to help, but nobody seemed to be able to make the stupid thing shift out of park. So, then one of my church friends started reading through the owner’s manual and he figured out some way to override the shifting thingy but sticking a screw driver into a random hole next to the park thingy.
We didn’t have a screw driver though, so we settled on testing out various nails, and then viola! a thick silver one did the trick.
And then, you know, two seconds later the stupid handle on the shifting thingy popped off and my car was all, NO!! SERIOUSLY!!! I AM MAD AND I’M NOT GOING TO WORK!! LOSER!!!
I cried a ton on the inside and a little on the outside. We all gathered together though and calmed Penelope down by slipping the handle back on just so. And sure, it randomly turns around while I go down the street, but the point is that I CAN go down the street. (For now).
And I know for a true fact that this whole time you are shouting at the computer, “CRYSTAL, IT IS TIME TO BUY A NEW CAR!! AND ISN’T YOUR MIRROR FALLING OFF?? SERIOUSLY. GO. NOW. BUY. NEW. CAR!!”
But for serious, I don’t have any money. See, I live in my own place and whatnot and I have student loans that I like to pay most months and well, you know, food is important and so all that doesn’t leave any money left over. Plus, my credit score is lower than well, everyone’s, so there’s that.
So for now, I’m just going to start my car while simultaneously sticking a random nail in a random slot and pray that it doesn’t break down on the highway or while I make a left turn onto Rt. 59. Sounds like a solid plan if I ever heard one. Right Penelope. Penelope? You there? Hello? Crap.