I bounced my tithe check.
There. I said it. It’s out there. I’m a horrible human being.
I can’t even clear a check to God.
What is WRONG with me?
To make a short story long, it all started when my car decided to puke all over my life and then fart in my face, and so I had to give a mechanic $450. This was all right though because I had $551 in my bank account — $50 of that was for my tithe check, and the other $51 was to live on.
I was flying high have myself a Big and Rich time with all my spare change, but then, I got stupid. I decided to use some of my $51 to put gas in the loner car I had from the mechanic and to eat.
And then, after a series of events involving a hose, steering fluid, and a lack of parts in the warehouse, my mechanic said he was going to be done with my car on Tuesday, but then he couldn’t finish till Wednesday.
And, he tried to be nice and give me a rental car, which he assured me would not cost me a thing. Except the rental car place made me give them a $50 deposit (the amount of my tithe check). They told me it would be put into my account as fast as it was taken out, and seeing as how they took it out in like 3 seconds, I went with it.
So then, of course it took like 2.5 days for the $50 to go back into my account and in that 2.5 days my tithe check went through. Of course.
And I thought for about four minutes that the bank was going to be nice and pay it and just charge me $32 for the mishap. But no, no. My credit isn’t good enough to earn services like that. So instead, the bank just sent the check back to the church and decided that for its trouble it should charge me $32 anyway.
And now, I have to explain to my pastor at the church where I work that I really am a decent human being and I don’t suck at life and that I will now be giving all of my future donations in cash.
On the upside, I’m pretty sure one of the Bible’s big themes is forgiveness.