My name is Crystal and I’m a blogaholic.
I just started this stupid blog like a week ago and all I want to do is check how many hits I’ve had. every day, all day, i check my hits. 651. YES! 652. WO WO! 658! OMG, it went up SIX HITS!
I figured out how to monitor it on my phone and, well, that was a stupid thing for me to figure how to monitor on my phone. then I hit 666. crap. someone. please click my blog. please. please… YAY! 667!. I used to think shameless self promotion was shameless, but NOW I’m thinking of having business cards printed up with my blog address on them. really. I am. I want EVERYONE, EVERYWHERE to read my blog EVERYDAY. and if I was a little bit cooler, I would be writing posts ALL. THE. TIME. if only i was independently wealthy… hmm. where did I put that lottery ticket? crap. I gave it to my
stupid awesome brother. Shoot. now how will i become independently wealthy enough to blog all day? (No, I CANT get rich being a journalist, i ALREADY tired that.)
I’ve got it. Ok. who needs a kidney??? I don’t drink that much, and ya, I kind of take like 4-10 advil a day, (what? i get headaches) but i think that’s really more of a problem for my liver and I think kidneys are going for AT LEAST $100 now, and if I invest that (say in some lottery tickets) I could probably make enough to quit my job and blog all through the day. I’m really good at the lottery, so this plan is kind of like fail-proof. Just let me know if you need a kidney, because have I GOT A DEAL FOR YOU.
and tell your friends about my blog, becuase I really want to get just one more hit before I got to bed. just one more. I swear. and then I’ll be able to go to sleep.