it’s official: if you email me on, i won’t be able to read it…

actually. i will. until Jan. 6. But after that my subscription expires. it was a fun two months don’t get me wrong. i went on six first dates and five of them paid for my dinner, so i figured i’ve recouped my losses.

but, here’s the thing. with real dating, when you meet someone, the most enchanting part is when they pick you. for some reason, they see you in a club, or at a wedding, or in the cheese aisle, or at the office water dispenser, and of all the girls in all the world, they pick you. to talk to. or kiss. or hug. and that’s my favorite part of dating.

but when you meet someone online, they pick a picture of you. and no matter how accurate the picture is, and how clever your profile is, it can’t possibly capture your essence. so that person has to set out to figure that out over dinner. but on that first date, they’re aren’t really picking you out of a crowded room. instead, they’re seeing if they WANT to pick you, and they’re comparing you against all the girls in all the world. and what’s the fun in that? then it turns from a date to a job interview, and i’ll just level with you. bad job interviews suck about 20 minutes in.

im sick of the fake conversation. and the awkwardly asking if they want me to split the bill. and the stress of trying to pick a restaurant in between our two houses. and the fear that the guy could in fact turn out to be a mass murderer.

im not going to pretend to be one of those 20-something girls who’s happy about being single. but im not going to pretend online dating is my thing either. so for now, i’ll just keep my $34.99 a month, and see what fate sends my way. maybe, i’ll check back in with the whole online dating thing in a few months, or a few years. or better yet, maybe i won’t have to. wouldn’t that be nice?

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  1. $34.99 a month? REALLY?!? How much does speed dating cost? I bet girls would be really impressed if I gave each one a $15 gift card to Applebee’s at the end of each 3-minute date, that way it would be like buying each girl dinner.

    Dang I’m a flippin’ genius. A romantic, flippin’ genius.

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