last week, i had to deal with my family’s domestic violence situation. then my sister and i drove into a ditch in the middle of 72 corn fields and had to get towed out, then i had to call dcfs, then my mom stopped talking to me. then, last night (thursday) i had another gall stone attack, felt like i was going to die, drove myself to the emergency room during a blizzard, was given drugs that made it illegal for me to drive and then proceeded to be unable to find anyone in a 20 mile radius who’d ANSWER THEIR PHONE IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT WHEN IT’S MOST LIKELY AN EMERGENCY! to pick me up from the hospital, got a ride home at 3:30 a.m. from a cab driver who smoked and tried to kill me while driving on awful snow-filled roads and now have to work until 11 p.m.
i used to say, it could be worse, i could be blago. but seriously, that man brought on his own d*mn problems. i think i’d rather be him than me at this point.
So i went to the doctor today and i’ll go ahead and give ya’ll the lede — I have gallstones.
four of them.
i got my little ultrasound this morning and as i was thinking that the jelly wasn’t as cold as everyone says it is while i wiped it off my stomach, the technician was all “the doctor WILL call you monday”
me: wait. how do you know? is something wrong? is something WRONG?!
her: well i’m not supposed to “technically” read the slides, but see your gall bladder here. well, it’s supposed to be all black.
see how it’s not ALL black.
her: ya, there are four gallstones in there. but on the brightside, they seem to line up perfectly.
me: really? that’s the best you’ve got for a “brightside?”
her: well, ya. the doctor will call you monday. i’d stay away from spicy and greasy foods till then.
me: umm. ok. gee. thanks.
me to my mom like five seconds later: holy crap. i KNEW something was ACTUALLY wrong with me. i KNEW it.
oh. frick. something is ACTUALLY wrong with me!! AND i have to wait till MONDAY to find out what happens next.
since then, ive discovered way too much information online about gall stones for own good.
the upside is, i guess they won’t have to stick a camera down my throat and into my stomach.