let’s recap why my life sucks

last week, i had to deal with my family’s domestic violence situation. then my sister and i drove into a ditch in the middle of 72 corn fields and had to get towed out, then i had to call dcfs, then my mom stopped talking to me. then, last night (thursday) i had another gall stone attack, felt like i was going to die, drove myself to the emergency room during a blizzard, was given drugs that made it illegal for me to drive and then proceeded to be unable to find anyone in a 20 mile radius who’d ANSWER THEIR PHONE IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT WHEN IT’S MOST LIKELY AN EMERGENCY! to pick me up from the hospital, got a ride home at 3:30 a.m. from a cab driver who smoked and tried to kill me while driving on awful snow-filled roads and now have to work until 11 p.m.

i used to say, it could be worse, i could be blago. but seriously, that man brought on his own d*mn problems. i think i’d rather be him than me at this point.

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so yes, i’m freaking out

So i went to the doctor today and i’ll go ahead and give ya’ll the lede — I have gallstones.

four of them.

i got my little ultrasound this morning and as i was thinking that the jelly wasn’t as cold as everyone says it is while i wiped it off my stomach, the technician was all “the doctor WILL call you monday”

me: wait. how do you know? is something wrong? is something WRONG?!

her: well i’m not supposed to “technically” read the slides, but see your gall bladder here. well, it’s supposed to be all black.

pause.

ALL BLACK.

see how it’s not ALL black.

me: frick.

her: ya, there are four gallstones in there. but on the brightside, they seem to line up perfectly.

me: really? that’s the best you’ve got for a “brightside?”

her: well, ya. the doctor will call you monday. i’d stay away from spicy and greasy foods till then.

me: umm. ok. gee. thanks.

me to my mom like five seconds later: holy crap. i KNEW something was ACTUALLY wrong with me. i KNEW it.

oh. frick. something is ACTUALLY wrong with me!! AND i have to wait till MONDAY to find out what happens next.

since then, ive discovered way too much information online about gall stones for own good.

the upside is, i guess they won’t have to stick a camera down my throat and into my stomach.

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