that’s me, in seat 35B, audibly gasping.

one time my friend phil and i saw a movie about something (i think george clooney was in it) and there was a torture scene.

and i was all GASP!  breathe out. GASP! breathe out. GASP! breathe out. like ever three seconds because HELLO THAT MAN WAS PULLING OUT THAT OTHER MANS NAILS!

phil never forgave me. never saw a movie with me again.

it was the only way we could remain friends outside of theaters.

but now my poor roommate has to suffer because alas, she has nowhere to go.

and tonight she and i went to see one of my youth group kids from church in a production of West Side Story. (hi jane!) (she was a jet girl).

but OMG have you SEEN this thing?

there’s fighting, and suspense, and sexist remarks, and multiple stabbings.

oh. and a gun shot.


grabbed my roommate’s shoulder when that happened. true story.

im not good with such things. actually, well, whatever, im just not good at sitting next to people while watching stuff. west side story, law and order, burn notice, 30 rock, iCarly, city council meetings, toast coming out of a toaster.

they all shock the crap out of me.

and i gasp all the day long. i try to manually hold my mouth closed to combat this, but it doesn’t work. im just SO surprised when things happen.

im going to go ahead and assume this is the reason im single. you know that, and the whole iCarly thing.

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