me? oh. i’ll be to your left coughing, and drooling.

woah. did you guys see that cold i had?! holy nyquil.

sorry i haven’t posted in awhile, it’s just that a virus from hades has been s.l.o.w.l.y. working it’s way from my head to my chest, and so i’ve spent any and all free time over the last few days highly medicated and attempting to sleep.

but i missed you guys. i did. and even though im not fully recovered (see: cough, perpetual) i thought I’d drop in, say hello and do my best to pass along any lingering germs to my readers. 🙂

so, ya, let’s talk about the 732 cold medications currently on the market.

wow. it’s just one big racket i tell you, because when im miserable and feeling like death would be better than my sore throat, i will fork over ALL my money for anything that even looks like it might have a slim chance of maybe working.

since tuesday i have bought or used:

nyquil, dayquil, tylenol “warming liquid” for cough and sore throat, citrus cough drops, cherry cough drops, and Chloraseptic.

first things first, why the HECK can nobody find a way to make a cough drop that doesn’t taste like expired gum?

i mean, obviously, there are people in the world who have found ways to make things taste good. for instance, taco-bell. they have MANY products that taste good. oh? you don’t want taco bell when you have a cold, well fine. then Halls should at least be able to pull off a nice orange-flavored cough drop, but NO! their orange cough drops taste nothing likes oranges. rather, they taste like an orange peel that has been devoid of all flavor, let for dead behind a microwave and then turned into an unnaturally hard substance that produces random vapors.


also, chloraseptic is GROSS.

have you ever tried it? in the commercials the guy using it always sprays it directly on his sore throat and then goes about his business swallowing and laughing like he is now all better. but when i went to actually use it in real life, i found it’s not so easy to just hit your throat. and the stuff has a pretty strong numbing effect, so even though i spit it out right after i sprayed it in my mouth, i managed to accidentally numb like half my tongue for two hours.

that sucked.

now, im not going to lie. im usually a nyquil/dayquil evangelist. but this cold, was having none of it. not only did they do squat to relieve my symptoms, but the flagship medicine of the company -NyQuil – couldn’t even do it’s most basic function – put me to sleep. on Thursday night, when it felt like someone had taken two square pieces of sandpaper and rubbed my throat raw, i laid awake drooling on my pillow all night because swallowing hurt too much to consider. i had hoped the nyquil would kick in and knock me out, but alas, in my time of need, it failed me. what the crap?

thankfully, that sore throat has since (mostly) passed. and i am now on the upswing of my cold. i just popped two dayquil, because even though they probably won’t work, it’s my only hope right now. the plan is to finish watching whatever the heck bad movie USA has on right now (i think it’s one of thouse mummy ones with the Rock), and then wash my pillow and it’s accompyaning case because let me tell you, that thing is GROSS.

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