miracle on route 59

so, you might be all ‘there’s NO SUCH THING as miracles.’

but you’d be wrong.

you see, my best friends mom’s sister once told me about this woman who cured people. (im pretty sure that’s in the category of “MAJOR” miracles.) and another time, i got a job in the chicago suburbs (that’d be a “MIDDLE” miracle). and yesterday i had what some would call a “MINOR” miracle. As in, only two people were ‘miraculously affected.’

but since one of those two people was me, I’m going to go ahead and share:

editor’s note: the following story is totally true. for real. it is.  

ok. so yesterday my neurotic best friend (who HAS to have everything in the exact right place all the freaking time — including her shower supplies. that nobody can even see because there’s a shower curtian. seriously.) somehow managed to lose her car key.

hot d*mn if she didn’t spend for.eva looking for that stupid little black key (which isn’t a key so much as a really expensive computer chip that sucks to replace).

she started looking for it while i was still at work and one hellish commute later, she was still tearing the apartment apart.


that’s when I had to sign up for the stupid key-search-party.

i was all ‘maybe you left it by the mail boxes’

and then she’d be all ‘im pretty sure a ghost took it’

and then id be all ‘no, im pretty sure a ghost didn’t take it. maybe it’s in my purse for some random reason.’

then she’d be all ‘no. ghosts are real, and it’s the only logical explanation at this point.’

after about 97 minutes (ish) of that, we decided that another logical explanation may be that it fell into my (amazing) couch (which unfortunately has cushions that don’t come off, making it impossible to search).

and THEN.

we heard the key.

yep. it was INSIDE my couch.

i started picturing horror-movie-like scenes of us having to tear off the fabric to get at the stupid key.

we flipped it to the side.

and upside down.

and to the other side.

and then upright.

and then back upside down.

and then — she went to stick her hand in the secret hole under the far left cushion (where we could only assume the key must have fallen) and she took a breath.

and (because i was a bit cranky at this point) and i was all ‘REACH FOR THE STUPID KEY! DORK.’

and she was all ‘shh. im praying that God will move the key into my hand.’

and was i all ‘GOD CAN’T MOVE KEYS! UGH’

and before she could say ‘God can do anything,’ he seriously moved the key into her hand.

true story.

the key moved.

into her hand.

and she pulled it out of the couch.

im pretty sure this proves the exsistence of god.

or ghosts.

either way, it was a d*mn miracle.

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