im a bit obsessed with sunsets.
like pull out my camera from my purse, which is sitting on the passenger seat, while driving home, because the sunset is THAT amazing and i NEED to shoot a picture right this second like a crazy person on one of those “what not to do” auto insurance commercials. (note to geico: ya. that’s, umm. not true. i’ve NEVER done that. ever).
and i should confess, this is not the first time i’ve acted like an insane person out of my love for the perfect shot of the perfect sunset.
just last week i was driving along with my little sister monica to get groceries and a movie from Family Video, when I noted that the beams of light coming from the sun were just a little too awesome and the way the colors had lit of the sky were just a little too fantastic and vision of oranges and reds were just a little spectacular to pass up.
So i drove the poor girl like five miles out of town to a corn field, trying to find a good spot to capture the sight without buildings in the way. And then i pulled over and walked down half a block so i could get an angle that included a little weed because i wanted to frame the sun with plant life.
i left the poor girl in the car while i did this. and let’s just say she was in there for about 7 solid minutes before embarrassment ensued and she decided to successfully lure me back to the car by shouting that i had a text message.
i was super excited to show her my prize-worthy pictures, figuring i could use the opportunity to explain to her that it’s important to take time out and enjoy natural beauty like sunsets. i gasped as i flipped through them and beamed as i started my car toward town.
but im sure i did not capture the sunset’s beauty with my camera that night. because despite my armature plant-framing techniques, it is just REALLY hard get awesomeness like that in a photograph.
something about it just doesn’t capture.
that’s how i feel when i try to explain to people how much i really love my sister.
when i try to tell them that she’s amazing, and perfect and kind of like the 9-year-old self i wish i had been.
how when she and i talk, i feel like we share a brain. and how i can look over to her with a thought in my eyes and she can understand it. thoughts like “let’s change the channel” or “life is not ok. let’s fix it.”
how i had prayed for a sister since i was a wee one, and the 15-year wait it took for me to get her was totally worth it.
how i think she’s going to grow up to be a rock star, or a doctor, or president, because she can so totally be whatever she decides. and im not exaggerating one bit.
how she’s finally getting to the point where i can talk to her like an equal. and how actually, i’ve always talked to her like an equal because i knew she’d grab hold of my conversations and remember every, single, thing i said.
how i’d literally untie my shoes, take them off, and then remove my socks, so i could plant my bare feet on hot coals and proceed to walk across them for miles if she needed me to. and how when i pray for her every night i beg Jesus with my heart to watch out for her, and protect her, and to let her be as happy as possible as often as possible.
how i didn’t really know there was a love like this until i met her. such pure, complete love.
i often wonder how — be it in writing, or in conversations or in photographs — i could possibly ever explain that love to people. how i could possibly ever capture its essence.
but i’ve come to realize that it’s like a sunset. it just has to be experienced.