my friend tom loewy has taken to saying secular prayers for me. whatever the crap that means.

i mean, if you’re going to take the time to close your eyes and think nice thoughts about someone, i’d think it wouldn’t be much harder to add a “Dear God,” at the front end and an “Amen” on the other side just to make sure all the paperwork is in order.

but whatever. i guess he’s just stubborn like that. and don’t get me wrong, it’s not that i don’t appreciate the efforts.

God knows i could use the help right now. i know God knows, because I actually do take the time to address my thoughts to him and then close with a solid “In Jesus name.”

i mean it’s not like im in any sort of trouble. or have anything particularly bad going on.

just the average crap the world throws at you here folks. not enough money, family drama, no love life, self-esteem issues, stress at work.

you know.

oh. and that strange feeling when i think about how i’ll be 26 in a matter of weeks and i still feel like i haven’t gotten my shyte together yet.

so like i said, i’ll take the secular prayers if that’s what he’s offering.

don’t get me wrong, i do try to take the time to see how far i’ve come. to look around and notice that im not, in fact, the same person i was when i was 17.

i have a real job. and live in real home (granted it’s not really MY home). i have a master’s degree, which i still argue is a small measure of success despite the fact that i will be paying it off until i die and then im pretty sure my family will just have to cash in whatever life insurance i have and use it to pay the rest, while they bury me in the newly discounted plots at Burr Oak.

oh. and also i’ve come a long way in realizing what types of guys i DON’T want to date.

that’s can’t be bad right?

for instance, remember that guy i wrote the letter to in high school? where i used statistics to deter his advances. well, i looked him on facebook.

and friended him.

people i was CURIOUS and his profile was private, what was i supposed to do? so just lay off.

anywho, he actually called me. on wednesday. at 6:17 a.m.

to say hello.

AT 6:17 AM!

he wanted to tell me that he was happy i was friends with him on facebook now. im not going to sugar coat this guys, i was kind of a biotch about the whole thing seeing as how IT WAS 6:17 IN THE MORNING AND THERE WAS NO APPARENT EMERGENCY, NEWS OR OTHERWISE! and i hung up after explaining that maybe he could call me after say 9 AM!

see. see how far i’ve come.

because we all know that when i was 17, i would have found a way to see him right then. i would have been so happy that a boy was giving me attention that i would have stolen the keys to my dad’s van and driven out to meet him that very morning.

alas, though, i still have a ways to go. i still have a lot of life’s things to get in order and figure out.

so like i’ve been saying, i’ll take whatever prayers i can get. even those of a secular nature.

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