Buying a car really is that awful

Bad/annoying things that happened to me while I was shopping for a car, after I totaled mine:

1. I had to run my credit about 14 times. Each day. And sales people apparently have a complete lack of typing and spelling skills. (Oakridge is one word folks!)

2. Car dealers would repeatedly make me sit at a random desk for two, or three or forty-jillion hours while they “checked with a bank.” Then, they would come back pretending I had been approved, and ask me for a bajillion dollars down. Then, I would have to say that I do not in fact have a bajillion dollars and walk out. All told, that’s about 25 hours of my life I’ll never get back.

3. Stupid salesmen tried to negotiate with me on a monthly payment amount while simultaneously refusing to say how much the freaking car actually cost.

4. Every time I went anywhere, the salesman would try to up sale me at least $1,000. Trust me dudes, I would love to give you another $1,000, but the thing is, I only have $50 in my bank account.

5. When I finally got a car, the dealer never actually finalized the financing, so I had to go back to the stupid dealership so they could tell me that the only loan they could get me was about $30 more a month, so then I had to give them back the car I had been driving for two weeks, and wait in Chicago for two hours for my mom (the hero!) to come get me. (Note to readers: Mercury Dodge on Pulaski should be shot). On the upside, I had some awesomely authentic Mexican tacos while I waited at a restaurant across the street.

6. Seriously, do you understand how bad it sucked to fight with those stupid people at MERCURY DODGE and then give them back my car?

7. AND THEN! I left my all-time favorite CD in the stupid stereo (Sara Bareilles, “Little Voice”).

Now, for some good things:

1. Carmax doesn’t totally suck! HUZZAH!! (Turns out, they really are “the way car buying should be”).

2. They just approve you for a loan, right there in the little room in like 7 minutes, and they don’t try to trick you with the price.

3. After I returned the 2006 Camry at Mercury Dodge, I ended up getting a 2008 Chrysler Sebring, with heated leather seats, a heated/cooling cup holder, automatic start and a pretty hood for $400 less at Carmax!

4. I almost spontaneously made out with the car salesman when I found out about the automatic start.

5. I have achieved two of my life-long goals: To have heated leather seats in my car, and to own a Chrysler.


And, in honor of my new new car, enjoy. (I could watch this all day long!).

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  1. Just a stupid question from a naive person. Do leather seats compromise a vegetarian’s morals? Congrats and have many, many miles of happy carefree driving.

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