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How to make a bad week worse

Published: October 16, 2010 / Updated: October 16, 2010 Crystal god, humor, medium, sh*tty things that happen to me

I bounced my tithe check.

There. I said it. It’s out there. I’m a horrible human being.

I can’t even clear a check to God.

What is WRONG with me?

To make a short story long, it all started when my car decided to puke all over my life and then fart in my face, and so I had to give a mechanic $450. This was all right though because I had $551 in my bank account — $50 of that was for my tithe check, and the other $51 was to live on.

I was flying high have myself a Big and Rich time with all my spare change, but then, I got stupid. I decided to use some of my $51 to put gas in the loner car I had from the mechanic and to eat.

And then, after a series of events involving a hose, steering fluid, and a lack of parts in the warehouse, my mechanic said he was going to be done with my car on Tuesday, but then he couldn’t finish till Wednesday.

And, he tried to be nice and give me a rental car, which he assured me would not cost me a thing. Except the rental car place made me give them a $50 deposit (the amount of my tithe check). They told me it would be put into my account as fast as it was taken out, and seeing as how they took it out in like 3 seconds, I went with it.

Dumb. Idea.

So then, of course it took like 2.5 days for the $50 to go back into my account and in that 2.5 days my tithe check went through. Of course.

OF. COURSE.

And I thought for about four minutes that the bank was going to be nice and pay it and just charge me $32 for the mishap. But no, no. My credit isn’t good enough to earn services like that. So instead, the bank just sent the check back to the church and decided that for its trouble it should charge me $32 anyway.

And now, I have to explain to my pastor at the church where I work that I really am a decent human being and I don’t suck at life and that I will now be giving all of my future donations in cash.

On the upside, I’m pretty sure one of the Bible’s big themes is forgiveness.

Thoughts on Christian music

Published: September 23, 2010 / Updated: September 23, 2010 Crystal god, medium

My theory on Christian music always goes back to a post I read once by Penelope Trunk about how if you love something you really want to write about it, but you can’t ever write about it in an interesting way until you hate it too. The problem is, no self-respecting Christian is ever going to go there with God.

It’s dark and awful, and admitting that maybe that one time that you were crying on the tile floor in your bathroom until our eyes burst from exhaustion and you wondered how that, THAT, could ever happen to you, that in that moment you might have maybe, kinda hated God for half of a half second, well, that’s kind of frowned upon in most churches.

Don’t get me wrong, doubt is fine. Doubt is something to overcome, to work through, to resolve. But hating God? How dare thy say such things.

And so, everyone tries to write happy, happy, joy, joy songs about God, and how we need to love Him, and how He is awesome and we need to love Him.

And ya, those things are all true and great and wonderful, but when you’re driving in Route 59 traffic, sometimes worship songs just don’t do it. Which is a weird thing for me to say, because lately, while I try to avoid rear-ending people, all I listen to is Christian Radio. It keeps me calm. It helps me spend time with God. And I need the peace it brings me.

But, well, a lot of the songs aren’t very good. They just aren’t raw enough. They don’t hit a nerve. They don’t have whatever IT is.

There is one song I love though.

One song I rock out to like the world really is ending this time, and I have just three more minutes to suck in everything earthly.

It’s Matt Maher’s “Hold us together.”

I listen to it over. And over. And over. And over. And it always stays beautifully wonderful.

I love that it starts out with a beat that could sway a stadium of people or two people on a couch. I love the message it tells about love. And I especially love the line “I’ll be my brother’s keeper, so the whole world will know that we’re not alone.”

That right there sums up this whole Christian thing in one sweet, perfect sentence.

Enjoy:

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-he2DohfwWE

This is rough.

September 9, 2010 Crystal exercise, god, humor

I’m ordering soda left and right.

I’m eating taco bell for lunch, and McDonald’s for dinner. Working out like two times a week on GOOD weeks. Not sleeping. Barely blogging. Wearing clothes four times between washes, because I have no time for laundry. (Wearing jeans 10 times). Trying to keep my head above the flood that is my life.

These two jobs and their corresponding commutes are getting to me.

There I said it. It’s out there.

I’m having a rough time.

Heck, more than rough.

I get so tired that I want to cry, but I don’t have the energy.

God gives me strength every day. And, I’d rather be busy than bored, but ya.

This is rough.