Archive of ‘humor’ category

I totally got through to KLOVE! Here’s how it all went down.

It all started on Jan. 2. I was driving into work for my first day back after a week-long Christmas vacation, and there were only about three other people on the highway.

There I was jamming along to Klove when the morning show hosts started talking about the station’s 30-day challenge. Basically, they say that listening to only Christian music for 30 days will change your life. And I love KLove, so I was like, I’m going to try to call them and tell them that I totally believe in the 30-day challenge.

So, I dialed them up (I have their number memorized). And let me just say here that I have in fact tried to call them about 458 times in the past and have never, ever, ever gotten through to a live person. They’re a national Christian radio station and at any given moment about 40,000 people are trying to call them.

But for some reason, this one time, a human being actually answered when I dialed the number! They were all, “This is KLOVE” and I was like, “Woah. Did I dial the wrong number? How? What? I’m so confused.” And then, out loud, I was all, “Umm, ya, Hi! I was just calling to talk about the 30-day challenge.” And the dude was like, “Ok. Please hold.”

And then, in my head, while I was driving down 55 North, I was all, “OMG! OMG! OMG! I got through! What the heck am I going to say? This is crazy! OMG! I wonder if I’ll actually get to talk to Craig, Amy and Kanklefritz! Dear Holy Sprirt, please be with me and give the right words to say!”

About five minutes later, while I’m jamming to the hold music, I suddenly hear, “This is Crag. Amy. And Kanklefritz. What’s going on?

And I was like, “What? Umm, Hello?”

And they were like, “Yes, go ahead.”

And I was like, “Woah. Hello? Really?”

And they were like, “Yes, go ahead.”

So I did. I started babbling on about how I love listening to KLove on my commute and that it totally changed my life and helped with road rage on my hour and a half commute to my full-time job, and that I’m a part-time  youth leader in the Chicago suburbs and I always tell the youth that what you put in your brain really does affect you and that I was skeptical about Christian music at first but now I love it.

And then the hosts were like, “Woah there, why were you skeptical?”

So I was like, “You know, because Christian music has a reputation for being boring.”

And they were like “WOAH!  BORING? WHAT? Do you still think it’s boring? Do you think we’re boring? Now we’re all self-conscious.”

And I was like, “No. No. No. I LOVE you guys! I listen to you every morning!!! I don’t think that at all anymore!!!”

Then one of the hosts was like, “Uh huh. Sure. Ok. Well, you said you’re driving to work, where do you work?”

So I told them I work at a candy magazine.  That’s when things go crazy. They got all excited and asked me if there were chocolate rivers in my office, and I was like, “Sure.” And they asked whether I burp my way to to the top of an elevator every morning like in Willy Wonka. and I was like, “Yes, every morning, while I listen to Klove, I burp my way to the top of an elevator. How did you know?” (You can listen to all that in the YouTube video on the top of this post).

I seriously talked to these guys for like five to seven minutes, and it was so awesome because I really do feel like their my friends because I hang out with them every single morning.

After I hung I was just so freaking excited and I was kind of hoping they would play the conversation later that morning. So I listed until the end of the show, but no go.

I thought maybe they would play it the next day, but I didn’t know for sure and I didn’t want to get my hopes up, so I didn’t really tell anyone about it except my boyfriend and one of my friends.

I figured, even if they didn’t play it on the radio, I would still always have that conversation for myself.

Then, bam, at 7 a.m. the next day my uncle Randy from New Orleans calls me. And I knew. I knew that he must have heard the conversation on the radio. And he had! He was all excited and he said they had only played half of it, but they were going to play the second half after a few songs.

And I was like “OMG THIS IS SO COOL!”

So I quick turned on the radio and called my mom to let her know. Except she already knew because randomly, my grandma’s radio alarm clock was set for 7 a.m. to Klove and she had heard the first part of the interview and called my mom.

And so we all listened, and it was seriously so cool and I love KLove and now I can totally cross this off my bucket list.

As you may have noticed, I recorded what I could of what they played on the radio, and made a little video (see the top of this post). Enjoy. 🙂

 

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All of our wrists are probably doomed.

My wrists are feeling better than they were. I mean, they’re not like “better” as in pain free or anything, but they’re on the mend for sure.

I’ve had three physical therapy appointments where I basically just sat with my wrists in huge heating blankets for 10 minutes or something and then the therapist used ultra sound therapy on my wrists.

And not like, “Oh, let’s just make sure there’s no alien living in your wrists to be on the safe side”-ultra sound therapy, but like the ultra sound rays or whatever are supposed to help them heal.

There’s not even a screen with an image of the inside of my wrists, which is kind of disappointing.

When I asked the dude what the ultra sound machine even did, he seriously said, “Nobody really knows.”

That was his answer. “Nobody really knows.”

But it doesn’t really matter I guess, because it does seems to be working.

I just have to stay pretty well medicated, and not use my wrists for anything at all ever for a little while longer. The prognosis is good after that. In fact, if I play my cards right, the whole thing could heal and I could be using my wrists for all sorts of activities by summer!

But, I need to tell you, as a sort of life warning, that for some reason, right now, in my current condition, doing anything on my super huge smart phone makes them throb.

Seriously. Throb. Like, “bum bump, bum bump, bum bump” with pain.

And I’m not saying tendinitis is definitely going to happen to you because you have a smart phone or anything, but you should probably be on guard for it. Maybe set it down every three hours or so, and cut back on the Words with Friends and Facebook.

Because I wouldn’t wish the pain I’ve been in the last few weeks on anyone.

 

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Falling in love with make-up tutorials.

My favorite things to do on Saturday morning is searching YouTube for videos about “awesome eye make-up for blue eyes.”

I’ve gotten totally obsessed with make-up tutorial videos as of late.

Looking back, it was really a combination of factors that led me here. First, as with most cool things I discover, I originally heard about the whole concept of online make-up tutorials from some girls in my youth group.

Then, while wasting away hours of my life looking at Pinterest, I saw a photo of a girl with rainbow hair and discovered Kandee J. 

She is awesome and fun and wonderful and my new virtual best friend and I could watch her all day long. She has taught me how to chalk my hair, contour my face, do open smokey eyes, and use dry shampoo so that now I only have to wash my hair every other day (don’t worry, I still totally shower every day. Gawd. I’m not gross. It’s called a “shower cap” people).

Then, of course, I started searching for other awesome teachers (specifically ones who have the same skin town as myself) and I found Sam Schuerman, who might be kind of copying Kandee J., but I don’t really care because I cannot get enough of these online tutorials.

Her “make your blue eyes pop” video literally changed my life.

And I cannot wait to try dying my hair pink in the same classy way she did.

Of course, none of my success would be possible if it weren’t for the best make-up company ever.

No. Seriously. Please let that sink in.

The. Best. Make. Up. Company. Ever.

EyeLipsFace (E.L.F.).  You’re wondering what the heck is so great about them? Well I will tell you. They are super cheap. Like $1 for mascara, or lip gloss, or fake eyelashes cheap. They sell the brand at Target, Wal-Greens and Dollar Tree, but the real treasure is online, where they have a huge collection of dirt cheap face paint.

And when you subscribe, you get a coupon just about every hour for free shipping, or half off all lip products, or 30% off all mineral make up.

And I don’t understand how any other makeup company is still in business with these guys looming around.

Now excuse, while I search YouTube for “how to apply liquid eyeliner like a pro.”

 

 

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