Confessions of a mission trip leader

It’s been a week since we got back from the youth mission trip to Denver, give or take a day depending on whether you count our 3 a.m. arrival as “Friday night” or if you want to get all technical and count it as “early Saturday morning.”

It’s been a week and I have just now regained my ability to stay awake without taping my eyelids open. I’m still tired, no doubt , but I can make it through a trip to the grocery store without feeling the need to fall asleep on the drive home.

Mission trips are Hades on my system. The main problem, of course, is the lack of sleep. The days start at 7 a.m. and it’s lights out at 11 p.m. Except, as a leader, that means I was up at 6 a.m. and I didn’t go to sleep until about 12:30 p.m.

We are supposed to have free time between 3 p.m. and 5 p.m. each day, but by free time, they mean shower time. And our showers were about 20 minutes away on the days we didn’t get lost, and about 30 minutes away on the days we did (three of the four). So, ya, I didn’t get a lot of free time. Actually, I didn’t end up with any free time.

Which I means I literally spent every waking minute of the week with someone calling out “Crystal, what time is breakfast?” “Crystal, what are we doing next?” “Crystal, are these shorts long enough?” “Crystal, is it free time? Can I use my cell phone?” “Crystal, the other leader said these shorts are long enough, so now are they long enough?” “Crystal, what’s our evening activity tonight?” “Crystal, do you know where my water bottle is?” “Crystal, one of your youth is wearing shorts that aren’t long enough.” “Crystal, what state are we in again?” “Crystal, why can’t I wear flip-flops on the mountain?” “Crystal, I just don’t like the taste of water.” “Crystal, you-know-who and you-know-her are making purple.” “Crystal, I have a bloody nose.” “Crystal, I have a bloody nose too.” “Crystal, what time is breakfast?”

It was a long week.

If my calculations are correct, we actually had six bloody noses in all. Four of which were inflicted on my poor sister, who will never in her life go to Denver again unless she is drug there by hit men or Satan. Her nose just doesn’t get along with the mountainous altitude.

And speaking of mountains, don’t worry, I managed to fall on  jagged rock while we were on Lookout Mountain, near where Buffalo Bill is buried. I ended up with a bruise on my butt that was literally bigger than a baseball, but I couldn’t even show anyone because leaders pulling down their underwear is usually frowned upon during trips like this.

Then, on Wednesday night, I stayed up until about 1:30 a.m. to write personal “Pony Express” notes to all 18 youth and the other 3 adults who were on the trip from my church because I hadn’t had even one minute of above mentioned free time to do it any other  day. And I was so tired when I went to bed that I almost fell asleep on the way to my air mattress.

Within seven seconds of hitting the pillow I was 75 percent asleep. And one second later I felt the stupid mouse.  (Insert screech.)

I maintain that the mouse was actually inside the the air mattress because I felt it jumping in there, and I KNOW WHAT I FELT. But everyone I try to explain that to seems to think I’m crazy, so whatever.

Except my mom. Because she was sleeping right next to me on the same air mattress, and felt it too. No, for real. She did.

Irregardless, I clearly had no choice but to go upstairs into an off-limits room and sleep on the random couch. Clearly.

Thankfully, I was out of that room at 6:55 a.m. the next morning, because I just missed the 25 women who came in at 7 a.m. to hold Bible study. Phew. I owe you one God.

The thing is though, no matter the mouse, or the jagged rocks or the bloody noses, or the lack of sleep or the week-long recovery process, the whole trip is amazing.

No. Amazing is too week. The trip was an incredible-awesome-tastic-wonderful journey that deeply changed all of us.

Yes, we served others — my crew sorted through donations at a thrift store, served a nursing home where 95 percent of the patients had some form of dimension, and painted a two-story house, while other crews from my church worked at a food bank, helped at the Boys and Girls Club, sorted cabinet doors (don’t ask), put on puppet shows for urban ministries and pulled weeds — but the serving is just a part of the story.

We also bonded while jamming to MC Hammer Pandora radio on the 16-hour drive there; learned to live without our cell phones; realized that one or two days without blow drying our hair wasn’t the end of the world; saw each other with bed head and hugged anyway; prayed over every meal, and every meeting and every day; lived a whole week with any air conditioning; dove into deep theological discussions at 10:30 p.m. when we were so tired that some of the youth were literally falling asleep while we spoke; shared our deepest wounds, our deepest fears and deepest secrets and then saw the wounds start the heal, saw the chance to conquer our fears and realized that some of our secrets aren’t so bad after all.

We loved, we felt the Holy spirit, we saw each other in a new light, and we saw ourselves in a different way.

I booked this trip in October — I remember because we got the “October special” on the deposit rate — and I have been praying for it every single day since then. I incessantly asked others to pray for it, I begged youth to sign up, I begged parents to let them, I asked for donations, I asked for more donations, I begged for donations, I begged for more youth to sign up and then I prayed some more.

And on Thursday morning (our last full day on the trip), there was a moment that made it all worth it. One of the many throughout the week.

Near the end of the morning devotional time, one of the youth came up to me, with tears in his eyes, and said simply, “Thank you” and then gave me a hug.

And I knew, that this trip had left a mark on him. And I wouldn’t trade that in for any amount of sleep in the world.

Thank you so much to everyone who prayed for us, thank you so much to everyone who donated and thank you God for letting me be a part of it.

  • Share/Bookmark

Mad Men, golf and Instagram.

When I woke up this morning at 5 a.m., the first thing I did was hit my alarm clock. Four times.

At 5:40 a.m., when I was finally up and peeing, I made a goal — do not read anything at all about last night’s season finale of Mad Men.

I failed before lunch.

Actually, if you count the Ghirardelli Sea Salt Soiree I at my desk first thing this morning as breakfast, then I think I technically failed during breakfast.

Sigh.

The show is amazing though and I’m fully confident that I will still have immense pleasure from watching it OnDemand tonight, even though I know that (spoiler alert) Don will run into Peggy at a theater.

I would have watched it live, but a. I only pay for basic cable, so I can’t watch AMC live, only OnDemand and b. I was too exhausted from my trying to beat my pastor (who has a master’s degree in the bible or God or something) at Bible Trivia and then trying to hit get my golf club to connect to golf balls at the driving range by my church during our first Youth Summer Sunday Night Golf Outing.

Considering my pastor is well, a pastor, I think my bible trivia team held its own. If only I had remember that  Bathsheba was Solomon’s mom. Oh well. Next time I guess.

As for the golf stuff, one of the youth gave me a tip to line up my left foot with the golf while using the driver, and I have to admit, it totally upped my club-to-ball connection stats by like 44% and I’m pretty proud of myself for knowing what a driver is.

The golf outings are extremely awesome. What happens is, we have a regular youth group time at the church on Sunday nights like we do all year, and then anyone who wants to hops in our cars and we go over the driving range and try to see who can hit golf balls the furthest.

It’s a great draw to get kids to come to youth group during the summer months, and best of all it’s cheap. A large basket of golf balls is like $17, but the guy at the course knows us so sometimes he’ll only charge $12.50.

As with all life events these days, I took plenty of Instagram pictures at the driving range last night to document all the fun we were having.

Instagram is awesome by the way because I can now make all my cell phone pictures look like they were taken under professional lighting. I do worry about the day someone comes up with Writeagram though, and everyone starts thinking their writing can be fixed with an app and a word filter. I’m sure that would be just as annoying as I am to all the “real” photographers out there when I use the x-pro filter. But I don’t care right this second, because like I said, my photos are BEAUTIFUL now!

Behold:

Our awesome youth-helper-out and one of the youth.

And this one, of our pastor with a master’s in God, and two youth.

And this one, where we see what I would look like without bangs.

And this one, which I caught on accident, of a youth trying to kill our youth-helper-out dude. Fun times.

And, what the heck, here’s one more for the road of me in my all-time favorite sunglasses. I’m posting it so that one day, I can look back on this and think, “Man, with the right bronzer, a pair of dangling earrings and purple sunglasses, I was totally decent looking at 28 years old.”

Also, I’m slated to go to Colombia a week from today for work. As in the country that Google Maps tells me is at the top of South America, and NOT some place in Missouri. I’ve been told that if I’m kidnapped, they’ll probably use my passport photo for the news stories about the “American reporter captured by drug cartel” stories. Instead though, can you tell them to use this one? I did the double french braids myself! Thanks!

  • Share/Bookmark

Life advice – 55 small things to live by.

Life advice:

1. Start each day with a prayer. To someone. Somewhere. I personally prefer God. It will help you realize the world is bigger than you.

2. Be thankful for at least three things each day. Most likely you have a warm place to sleep, enough food to get you through the day and at least one good hour of prime time television you can watch in color each night. Start with those if you can’t think of anything.

3. When Ce Lo Green’s “F*CK You!” comes on the radio, turn it up really loud and sing along like nobody’s watching. Yes, the original version includes a pretty harsh swear word. But it’s all right, because sometimes break-ups are pretty harsh on your heart.

4. See how you look with liquid black eyeliner at least once.

5. If you’re going to straighten your hair, use a Chi. All the other straighteners suck. If you’re broke, buy it at Marshall’s, where they usually have them half off suggested retail price.

6. When possible, only take carry-on bags when you fly. And, don’t forget that you’ll have to take off your shoes when you go through airport security, so you probably don’t want to wear those tie-up boots that end at your knee.

7. Invest in people. Martin Luther King Jr., and Jesus both tell us we can all be great because we can all serve. It’s true. When you give part of yourself unselfishly to someone else’s needs, you will be shocked at the rewards that come your way. Shocked.

8. Have a fun ring-back tone on your cell phone. It will put people in good mood when they call, and there’s no telling when that will come in handy.

9. Wear a perfume instead of body spray. It smells more sincere.

10. Save your work. If you’re on a computer, create a back-up file. If it’s paper you prefer, keep it somewhere safe.

11. Buy a car charger for your cell phone.

12. If need to text someone, check an email or take a nap,  then don’t drive at the same time.

13. Leave lots of room between you and the car in front of you when you’re in traffic.

14. When the toilet paper runs out, replace it.

15. Don’t take is personally — it’s usually not personal. People will hate you, gossip about you and demean you. Those people are broken. But remember, so are you. So, instead of getting offended, love them.

16. If you get a manicure, pay for the gel manicure. It will last about four times as long.

17. If you’re ever at O’Hare international airport, and you need to take a cab to the suburbs, make sure you get a suburban cab. City cabs will charge you $100 to go to Aurora.

18. Spend at least one week of your life lying on a beach somewhere.

19. Spend at least one week of your life working harder then you’ve ever worked in your life in service to someone else.

20. Ask for help.

21. Go to college. It’s expensive, and you might end up with massive amounts of student debt, but you will learn to understand the world in a different way, and that’s more valuable than you know.

22. Read. A lot. Read the magazines at the dentist, read the Bible in the hotel nightstand, read your friends’ twitter feeds, read the fliers in the bathroom, read everything by David Sedaris, read “The road not taken”, read your favorite book twice, and read you dad’s favorite book at least once.

23. Don’t date someone who’s already married. It will not work out.

24. Remember, “a lot” is two words. And “you’re” = you are, while “your” means it’s yours.

25. Remember the phrase, “Never Eat Soggy Waffles.” It will help you find your way. North. East. South. West.

26. Don’t do drugs. People, good people, really do die from them.

27. On Valentine’s Day, send everyone you love — from your pastor to your dad to your boyfriend —  a text that says, “Happy Valentine’s Day! I hope your day is filled with lots of love and chocolates.” And then, on Facebook, tell people you will tell them things you love about them if they ‘like’ your status, and then do it in a sincere way.

28. Send people birthday cards. Make sure you tell at least three reasons you love them.

29. Be OK with being single.

30.  Take a deep breath every time you seen a sunset.

31. Learn to type.

32. Wear flats when you know you’re going to be standing up for more than three hours straight.

33. Stop eating when you’re full.

34. If you ever have a really sharp pain in your chest, go to the emergency room. If it’s not a heart attack, have them check your gall bladder with an ultra sound.

35. If you ever start hyperventilating, and your hands and feet go numb, breathe into your hand to readjust your oxygen level.

36. If you’re sick, stay home.

37. Sit on the front seat of a roller coaster at least once.

38. Pick up your dirty socks and put them in the hamper.

39. If you have braces and the orthodontist tells you to wear rubber bands, just do it.

40. Take Advil when you get menstrual cramps. Tylenol will not work.

41. Learn to french braid.

42. If your contact lens feels like it’s scratching your eye, take it out.

42b. Also, don’t sleep in your contacts.

43. Learn to make at least one thing you love to eat and then bring that one thing to pot lucks.

44. Give at least $1 to the homeless guy on the sidewalk, even if especially if someone is pulling you away and telling you not to.

45. Drink water instead whenever possible.

46. When you love someone, love them completely.

47. Run a 5K at least once. I promise the training will suck, but I also promise that you’ll be able to do it and that crossing the finish line will be amazing.

48. Don’t dye your own hair blonde. Brown, red, black and purple are fine. But for blonde, go to a professional.

49.  When someone offers you a salary for a new job, ask for more money once and then take whatever they offer next.

50. Return phone calls.

51. Watch Back the Future, The Princess Bride, Field of Dreams, and Indian Jones.

52. Always tip 20%. Serving others is hard work, so show those who do it appreciation.

53. Listen.

54. Smile.

55. Don’t be afraid to fail.

  • Share/Bookmark