im cool – Page 39 – The only certainty is bad grammar

thoughts on my blog

Published: December 26, 2008 / Updated: December 27, 2008 Crystal humor, im cool

1. I recently had business cards made for my blog. (so i don’t have to constantly spell the word burritos for people). well, the lovely people i ordered them from were all ‘oh, let us give you some magnets for like $3.’ so i was all ‘cool.’ however, i have since been told people shouldn’t keep magnets near their computer because it could demagnetize it or something. in conclusion, if i give you a magnet, please do the smart thing: put it on your freaking fridge. and then tell everyone who asks about it that im awesome and then hand them my card.

2. (i think) i’ve figured out how to delay posts from appearing until a later date. if i am in fact smart enough to have figured this out, i will now write two or three posts when im at a computer and then time them to post daily. if im feeling really awesome and i figure out how to have a separate page for daily photos, i may do this for that as well and resurrect that lovely feature. however, that could take a little longer.

3. never. never. never. get a freaking godaddy account. don’t let those super bowl commercials they have every year sway you. the hosting service is THE slowest thing in the world. unfortunatley, i’ve committed to a d*mn year with them, so i’ll just have to be frustrated because im too cheap to pay someone else, when i’ve already paid for one.

4. santa didn’t bring me a laptop (although he did bring me season one of 30 rock, which im excited about, and a two-disk edition of the departed) so im going to try saving up for one again. i’ve decided that instead of asking people to buy me one, im going to be more practical about the whole thing. so, if you have a gently used laptop or computer and need someone to take it off your hands, im your girl. will pay money for said laptop or computer. to get in touch and hook me, look under the contact me secion of this blog and send me an e-mail.

random thoughts

Published: December 19, 2008 / Updated: December 19, 2008 Crystal humor, im cool

1. Yes, I’m aware that i totally used God’s (and his relation’s) name in vein about 46 times in the post “insane.” you know what? I’m a little peeved with the guy right now (see: let’s recap why my life sucks). plus, i NEED to take out my frustrations some-freaking-where and im fully aware that God will forgive me, whereas other people might not be so quick to get over it.

2.the dr. at the emergency room who i see every month or so (see: gall stones) is named hobnob (or something like that). and it’s funny. and even when i feel death coming, i still laugh when i see his name on the white marker board in the er room.

ha.

hob-nob.

i crack myself up.

3. im told to avoid dairy at least until i get my gall bladder out. still trying to figure out why exactly God hates me.

4. when i get really stressed out, my contacts get filmy for some reason, and as you may have read, i’ve been d*mn stressed out lately. as a result i now think everywhere is foggy. car, office, bathtub, etc.

5. when my sister and i drove into a ditch, the tow truck driver charged me $30 cash, but i think my roadside assistance should have covered it the whole thing. im pretty sure i got scammed.

6. i still really, really want a laptop, but recent crazy life-events have led me to drastically reduce my laptop savings fund. however, if anyone wants to buy me a lap top, i’d totally accept.

7. plans for my saturday include: sleeping, watching reailty tv, not eating dairy, and sleeping.

8. i no longer back-link to posts because my hosting service (look at me being all cool and using phrases such as “hosting services”) (look at me being all lame by using “such as” and not “like” — that’s the crazy journalist in me) takes FOREVER to do oh, anything. someday, when im rich and awesome and have a new laptop and an awesomer (apparently my crazy journalist side doesn’t mind awesomer though) hosting service i will back-link again.

story time

Published: December 9, 2008 / Updated: December 10, 2008 Crystal humor, im cool, journalism, medium

back in my grad school days i used to cover the governor. (no. really. i did. i WAS cool. i SWEAR). and I would wait for HOURS to talk to the man. and then sometimes, i’d get little more than one sentence from him. and it would be the ever-so-un-useful explanation of why in fact, he did NOT want to talk to reporters.

one time, i waited FOUR hour to talk to the man. and i was wearing HEELS. and i stood in the capital building’s basement doorway, which has a not-so-nice breeze.

and then his possy’s black suvs showed up.

and then his press secretary showed up.

and then she forcefully explained to me that he would not in fact be taking any questions.

and i explained to her that i had just waited four hours in heels and i would in fact be asking the questions anyway. and by that i mean, i actually just gave her a blank stare and refused to leave.

and then the governor came in.

and i was all “governor, governor! answer my question!!” (or something like that). but he didn’t.

so i gave up on real life and decided to ask him instead about the cubs (he’s a fan.)

and because he’s such a fan, he responded. and then i wrote a story about how thought the cubs would go to the world series that year. (they didn’t). and in that moment, he seemed like such a simple man.

ahh. times they have a changed.