The only certainty is bad grammar

So, don’t get me wrong, I love myself some football. but it seems like I won’t be going to any Super Bowl parties Sunday. and it has nothing to do with the fact that I’m too lame to have any friends (which I am). It’s because the WHOLE state of Wisconsin still is in mourning over that horrible, sad, awful, embarrassing unexpected defeat a few weeks back. And I don’t think ANYONE in America’s Dairyland is going to be holding any sort of Super Bowl party. at. all. 

it’s not because THEY don’t love themselves some football (they do). it’s because even when those big tough packer’s fans claimed they weren’t sad and they were just HUNGOVER they were lying and everyone here is just plain working through the seven stages of grief.

I mean, for goodness sake, I’m a bears fan, and i was a little sad. (what? if you don’t live here, you can’t understand). 

Plus, there was the whole thing about how the newspaper I write for (in Wisconsin) was all set to have “all Packer coverage, all the time!!” and some of those articles were going to be written by me and i had to come up with ALL NEW IDEAS for the last two weeks. I mean don’t get me wrong, the good people of Wisconsin media still found ways to update the state on Packer’s news. (yes, the above linked article is about how the Packer’s home-field advantage relates to global warming). but it just wasn’t the same. 

I’ll probably turn on the game (becuase as i mentioned, I’m too lame to have friends and i therefore have nothing better to do) but I’ll just be watching the commercials* in protest of the packer’s loss. so don’t be all asking me for my opinions on the different plays monday, because I won’t be watching them.

*although i do kind of hope eli manning fumbles. a lot. stupid jerk.   

 UPDATE: I lied. I totally watched the actual game. and although I hate manning, I hate the patriots even more (they’re cheaters, from what i understand). I’m really excited they won. 🙂

This girl I know recently sent me some pictures that had ME in them. that’s right, all you need to know is that they had me in them, because that’s all you look for in a picture, right? me. i mean, that’s all i look for in a picture. hmmm, let ME see…where am I in this photo. OH! there I AM!. at this point i decide if i look a. awesome, b. not-so-awesome or c.worthy of never showing this picture to anyone EVER. Then, after I pick a, b or c I gauge how i look in comparison to the OTHER people in the picture. but don’t worry, i only look at those OTHER people long enough to notice if they look better or worse than ME!.

I do this because inside im a 11-year-old girl (although, some would argue, I’m ALSO an 11-year-old girl on the outside) and I constantly feel like I JUST REALIZED that MY LOOKS are being compared to other people’s looks. not only this, but I ALSO JUST REALIZED that I TOO could compare myself to OTHER people. (what can I say I SHOUTED A LOT when i was 11) And since i have NO IDEA how to do this in real life, the only time I can really gauge how pretty I am (or am not) is when I’m looking at e-mail attached pictures. Duh.

This whole thing is becoming more complex though, because of these weird things called facebook and myspace. because now, after i carefully evaluate each photo (for my awesomeness level), i then have to decided if it is, in fact, the photo i want everyone I actually KNEW when I was 11 to see. I, of course, want them to see how awesome I look now that I’m no longer 11. HOWEVER, since I’m actually 24 I try to reason with myself by explaining that a. if I AM looking at me, it means other people are probably doing the same thing and therefore nobody really gives a crap about how i look and b. that if i do (once in a blue moon) look bad in a photo, then it’s obviously because of bad lighting. duh again. 

So, if any of you people have any pictures of ME out there, feel free to send them my way. but don’t be all EXPECTING them to show up on a web site, unless I LOOK AWESOME. duh.

UPDATE: I just sent a picture to my mom and it was of me, my sister, my grandma and my friend and my mom was all ‘Oh THANK GOD I’m not in it.’

I thinking that’s where I get this from.

My name is Crystal and I’m a blogaholic.

I just started this stupid blog like a week ago and all I want to do is check how many hits I’ve had. every day, all day, i check my hits. 651. YES! 652. WO WO! 658! OMG, it went up SIX HITS!

I figured out how to monitor it on my phone and, well, that was a stupid thing for me to figure how to monitor on my phone. then I hit 666. crap. someone. please click my blog. please. please… YAY! 667!. I used to think shameless self promotion was shameless, but NOW I’m thinking of having business cards printed up with my blog address on them. really. I am. I want EVERYONE, EVERYWHERE to read my blog EVERYDAY. and if I was a little bit cooler, I would be writing posts ALL. THE. TIME. if only i was independently wealthy… hmm. where did I put that lottery ticket? crap. I gave it to my stupid awesome brother.  Shoot. now how will i become independently wealthy enough to blog all day?  (No, I CANT get rich being a journalist, i ALREADY tired that.) 

I’ve got it. Ok. who needs a kidney??? I don’t drink that much, and ya, I kind of take like 4-10 advil a day, (what? i get headaches) but i think that’s really more of a problem for my liver and I think kidneys are going for AT LEAST $100 now, and if I invest that (say in some lottery tickets) I could probably make enough to quit my job and blog all through the day. I’m really good at the lottery, so this plan is kind of like fail-proof. Just let me know if you need a kidney, because have I GOT A DEAL FOR YOU.

and tell your friends about my blog, becuase I really want to get just one more hit before I got to bed. just one more. I swear. and then I’ll be able to go to sleep.