Perception, reality. same dif.

This girl I know recently sent me some pictures that had ME in them. that’s right, all you need to know is that they had me in them, because that’s all you look for in a picture, right? me. i mean, that’s all i look for in a picture. hmmm, let ME see…where am I in this photo. OH! there I AM!. at this point i decide if i look a. awesome, b. not-so-awesome or c.worthy of never showing this picture to anyone EVER. Then, after I pick a, b or c I gauge how i look in comparison to the OTHER people in the picture. but don’t worry, i only look at those OTHER people long enough to notice if they look better or worse than ME!.

I do this because inside im a 11-year-old girl (although, some would argue, I’m ALSO an 11-year-old girl on the outside) and I constantly feel like I JUST REALIZED that MY LOOKS are being compared to other people’s looks. not only this, but I ALSO JUST REALIZED that I TOO could compare myself to OTHER people. (what can I say I SHOUTED A LOT when i was 11) And since i have NO IDEA how to do this in real life, the only time I can really gauge how pretty I am (or am not) is when I’m looking at e-mail attached pictures. Duh.

This whole thing is becoming more complex though, because of these weird things called facebook and myspace. because now, after i carefully evaluate each photo (for my awesomeness level), i then have to decided if it is, in fact, the photo i want everyone I actually KNEW when I was 11 to see. I, of course, want them to see how awesome I look now that I’m no longer 11. HOWEVER, since I’m actually 24 I try to reason with myself by explaining that a. if I AM looking at me, it means other people are probably doing the same thing and therefore nobody really gives a crap about how i look and b. that if i do (once in a blue moon) look bad in a photo, then it’s obviously because of bad lighting. duh again. 

So, if any of you people have any pictures of ME out there, feel free to send them my way. but don’t be all EXPECTING them to show up on a web site, unless I LOOK AWESOME. duh.

UPDATE: I just sent a picture to my mom and it was of me, my sister, my grandma and my friend and my mom was all ‘Oh THANK GOD I’m not in it.’

I thinking that’s where I get this from.

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  1. i have no response to this post, other than writing to let you know i’m reading. every. word. i feel like you are on a couch (obviously an inflatable one) and you are doing your own self-analysis. just tell the 11-year-old to smile.

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