medium – Page 45 – The only certainty is bad grammar

kind of like a sea shell but not at all.

Published: June 16, 2009 / Updated: June 17, 2009 Crystal humor, medium

UPDATE: All can breathe a sigh of relief. i have a doctor’s appointment Friday morning. I’ll be sure to report back. you know, assuming the “tumor” hasn’t killed me or anything by then 🙂

so remember when i was all “i think my ear is infected or something because it’s really bothering me?”

well, it’s not like infected, infected. it’s like, something else. and i googled it.

and now i kind of think im dying.

the thing is, ever since my gallbladder surgery, it’s been making this swishing sound.

like swish. sw-ish. sw-ish. sw-ish. sw-ish. sw-ish. sw-ish.

and it’s in time with my heart beat.

and sometimes it’s REALLY LOUD. so it’s more like SW-ISH. SW-ISH. SW-ISH. SW-ISH. SW-ISH. SW-ISH.

it’s kind of driving me FREAKING NUTS! and it’s gotten so bad that it’s keeping me up at night.

and instead of getting it looked at like i normal person, i’ve just been taking nyquil to fall asleep.

also, i decided to self-diagnosis. as in, i checked crazy web sites online. my understanding of the situation is it could be either allergies, or a tumor.

the one thing that every web site i checked did have in common was they all told me to GO TO THE DOCTOR.

but i hate doctors. and their stupid “fees.” so instead i have decided to buy a fan, which i figure will drown out the swishing sound. and then i’ll be able to some freaking sleep.

i’ll let you know how that goes.

a sad day.

June 13, 2009 Crystal medium

my friend died.

his name was Dionate. and today was his funeral.

we grew up together.

he was my next-door neighbor.

he was only 23.

and someone stabbed him to death last week.

today was his funeral.

a funeral for a 23-year-old.

23.

and he wasn’t in a gang. or on drugs. or shooting people.

he wasn’t anything bad.

he was my friend.

and last weekend he was in the wrong place at the wrong time.

he was at a party.

and now he dead.

forever.

the funeral was very sad.

and everyone from my childhood was there.

and they were all crying.

a lot.

and so was I.

i hugged his brothers.

and walked up to the casket.

i said good bye.

and cried.

a man sang amazing grace.

and Dionate’s girlfriend read a letter to him.

she cried the most.

and then they closed the casket.

why did this happen?

why did my friend die?

he was only 23.

23.

i love my sister like peanut butter loves strawberry jelly.

Published: June 9, 2009 / Updated: June 10, 2009 Crystal humor, im cool, medium

holy crap. where the frick did the last 10 years go?

i remember wondering what her voice would sound like. and crouching on the floor while she laid on a single couch cushion the week she was born waiting for her to blink because HOLY COW I FINALLY HAD A SISTER!!

and now she’s TEN! I swear to candles that it’s been like a minute since that girl was born.

per tradition in my family, we hosted a sleep over to honor of her big day. and she got to invite a crap load of people, nine of whom showed up.

Yes, that’s 10 girls, in one night.

my theory on hosting that many hot-tempered ten-year-olds can be summed up in two simple words: ORGANIZED ACTIVITY.

we did the tennis-ball-under-the-chin relay, egg toss, sardines (the game, not the food), a taco bar (the food, not the game), gray wolf, cake, presents, glow-in-the-dark hot potato, pass the story and then ended it all with with sleeping bags pointed toward a showing of “Adventures in babysitting.” (the movie).

i’d like to think the point where one of the guests turned to my sister and said “I’M HAVING A REALLY FUN TIME” solidified the fact that i rock at hosting little-girl tween parties.

i only hope her 20th birthday is half as fun, and her next 10 years are half as awesome.

i love you sis. for real.