kind of like a murder, but of a blog

i officially deleted my anonymous journalism blog today.

all but two of you probably didn’t even know i had this site (see: webster, anonymous) but it’s kind of a moot point, seeing as how it’s now been deleted. that’s right. gone. forever. into the dark abyss. or heaven. or into the earth. (im not actually sure where blogs go when they die).

anyhow.

i started it back when i was working in oshkosh as a way to vent because holy pencils, did that place suck. (i can say that right? that it sucked. hmm? i don’t remember any confidentiality agreements). i only kept it up to date for about three minutes though because it’s pretty freaking hard to manage two blogs.

and i’ve let it sit silent for the past six months (ish). so today, out of the kindness of my heart and because wordpress kept yelling at me to EITHER DELETE THE BLOG OR PUT UP A NEW POST ALREADY!! i exported all the files onto my desktop and clicked “delete blog.”

maybe it’s a metaphor for what i subconsciously know i need to do to journalism. or maybe it’s just another thing on my saturday to-do list. either way, it’s gone forever. (so I’m told by wordpress).

the whole thing was a warm-up for my next goal: to delete the site where this blog used to be. but i feel much, much sadder about that possibility.

it’s weird to think that my original home on cybersype could be killed so easily. with a just a few confirmation clicks everything could wipped out.

that one might take me a little longer to actually do.

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i seriously never look there

ok. i may or may not have been growing a broccoli swamp filled with mold on my roommate’s shelf in the fridge. and i say may or may not because i didn’t actually see the swamp because it was on my roommate’s shelf, and i seriously never look there. nope. i just skim right down to the shelf below it where i keep my hummus, cherry tomatoes and left over spaghetti.

i figure it’s better that way so that i don’t get jealous of food i can’t have, like orange juice and well, i don’t actually know. like i said, i never look at those shelves.

im assuming my soup ended up on her shelf because i had gotten it as a gift back when i couldn’t even do basic tasks like feed myself while recovering from my surgery. and seeing as how i couldn’t feed myself, i also couldn’t do other simple things, like put away food. instead, my mom, sister and grandma were in charge of that. so one of them must have put it on her shelf.

you might have realized by this point, that my surgery was more than a month ago, so that soup must have been at least as old. you’re right. it was. but everyday, id go the fridge and skim right past the broccoli swamp filled with mold to where i keep my hummus.

every. single. day.

until finally my roommate decided that on account of the fact that we were having company, and that there was about a 50 percent chance they would look at her shelf in the fridge, she’d just clean the stupid swamp- and mold-filled container out herself. and seeing as how she’s nice and whatnot, she didn’t even mention it to me, until i was like: hmm? where did this large empty soup container in the dish drain come from? and she was all: oh. that. ya. that was the most disgusting thing i’ve ever done in my whole life. your soup was in there. how could you have not SEEN that?!

what? it was? crap. wow.

my friend robert from high school was like that soup.

we were bestest friends back then. back in 2000. and 2001.

and we’d go to off-campus lunch together like every single day. to mcdonald’s. or taco bell. or even that little gyro place where i used to get gyros from until i got food poisoning from them.

and i remember one time someone stole his coveted parking sticker from inside his car, and we walked up and down the hundreds of cars in the my school parking lot looking for it. for like a week. and i thought it was a hopeless endeavor because holy automobile, there were like 1,472 cars in that parking lot. but robert was so cool, that i walked along the rows just so i could spend time with him.

and then one day he found a sticker with a number that had been altered with white out, and i’ll be darned if it wasn’t HIS parking sticker.

and even though we had so much fun together, doing even simple things like walking through a high school parking lot looking for his sticker, we never dated.

and we didn’t even go to prom together or anything. instead, we both went with people we thought we wanted to go with. and then, while at the dance, we both ditched our dates and hung out all night laughing.

robert always made me laugh. the boy would crack me up. and i can’t even remember a single joke, but i vividly remember the laughing.

and then on graduation day, he came up to me after the ceremony, grabbed my arm and said ‘im going to college on the east coast. what if we never see each other again?’ and i was like ‘that’s crazy. of course we’ll see each other again.’

but of course we never did.

and i still wonder if maybe we were meant for each other. or maybe we were at least meant to see if we were meant for eachother. but we never got that chance. because even though we hung out everyday. i never saw him. like that soup in the fridge, i just skimmed right past him. and dated a bunch of losers instead.

and i often wonder how many amazing people are in my life who i just skim right past. how many people are right there in front of me who i never even see?

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ok. fine. i freaking joined linkedIn.

apparently I’m like eight decades behind the curve on this crap, but I have finally joined LinkedIn. For those of you even more behind than me, it’s basically like facebook, but without all the underage drinking photos and status updates.

or at least as far as i can tell.

the most annoying part about joining a new online thingy is that i have to learn all of its social norms. for example, I really, really, really want to link to this blog on my linkedin because im a stupid girl who’s sole life mission is to get more clicks. however, my brief assessment of LinkedIn has led me to believe that linking to this site on a professional network such as it is would be like like showing my boss my bra — it’s not something i want to show him, but if he finds it himself, no big deal. i guess. maybe. or maybe that’s not the best metaphor here.

anyway, ya. my boss is on LinkedIn. and by “my boss,” i actually mean, like 5 of my bosses. so that’s weird.

i asked them to be my friends. oh. wait. crap. that’s the facebook in me talking. im sorry. i asked them to be my “connections.” or maybe i invited them. or did i actually just ask them to connect to me?

sigh.

see. new social networks are SO hard.

just to recap, i now have two facebooks (one for undergrad and one for graduate school), a myspace, this blog, my twitter, a LinkeIn, a 20-something blogger account, a fule my blog account, and i also run my rss feed on brazen careerist.

in conclusion, if you’re thinking of inviting me to anything online. well, as you can tell, i’ll say yes.

i.just.can’t.resist.

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