medium – Page 64 – The only certainty is bad grammar

i say a little prayer.

October 27, 2008 Crystal humor, medium

pretty much every night i say a prayer. it usually starts with the normal pleasantries. “hey there God. what’s the good word? oh. ya. duh. you’re Bible thingy. any-who, just wanted to say a prayer…”

after the hello’s (me to him, not him to me (I’m not crazy)) I pray for everyone I can think of. (my immediate family, my extended family, my friends, my enemies, the two dogs in my life and my boss.), I try to think of something I’m thankful for (awesome living arrangement, not getting fired that day, my crackberry, that it didn’t snow that day…).

and then I pray for me.

it usually goes something like this: ‘and seriously God, I really, really want to fall in love,”

is that weird? is it strange that I pray for that kind of thing? that i pray that I’ll find someone I can have children with? and be married to forever?

i pray for it because the concept so alludes me that i feel the only one who’s got ANY control over any of it is God. don’t misunderstand, im not throwing myself at any guy that breathes. im not desperate. im not sitting here waiting for someone to want marry me. I’m not even worried about the fact that so many people assume something must be wrong with me if i’m single.

i just want love. plain. simple. love.

and normally, i’m all, “God knows what he’s doing. God will answer my prayer. Ask and ye shall receive….”

but I’m feeling a little bitter lately because, well, i thought that I had found the answer to my prayers a few weeks ago. i had met THE most amazing guy at a party. and i started to believe in love at first sight. and the only way to describe the moment was as “an answer from God, to me.”

but alas, that’s not the case.

and I KNOW God is all about the working in mysterious ways stuff. but im starting to get a little frustrated. and i HATE when people say, “if it’s meant to be, it’ll be.” because that’s lame. I don’t want to not have kids because God doesn’t want me to for some “MYSTERIOUS” reason. i happen to think i’d be a pretty darn, tootin, good mom. (and for that matter good wife).

so i just wanted to vent to you guys about all this, because it’s not like I can shoot a passive aggressive e-mail to the Almighty. i just have to suck it up and say another prayer.

loving the roomie

October 25, 2008 Crystal medium, sh*tty things that happen to me, short

yesterday there i was chillin like an awesome person at applebee’s with a reporter friend, when this guy i know shoots me an e-mail.

which i of course read on my crackberry. (see: addicted to phone).

but it’s not the best of e-mails. (let’s just say, one of the lines was: “I’m going to have to commit to just being friends with you right now.”)

frick!

seriously?

this is the kind of thing that can ruin a girl’s fettuccine. (which it did).

but I pulled myself together long enough to pretend like I hadn’t just gotten a totally awful e-mail, I finished my dinner and my night and found myself in my car.

and I cried.

and I didn’t think I would cry about an e-mail like this from this particular guy, but i guess it was the finality of the whole thing. and i was worried that I was going to cry myself to sleep that night. while i consider the fact that i will never have children. or a husband. or be happy. and that nobody will ever love me.

but when i got home, my awesome roommate was there.

and i told her about the e-mail. and she let me vent. and then she totally sat on the couch with me while we called said guy a schmuck, while thinking of reasons I’m too awesome for him anyway.

and i felt better.

so here’s to my new roommate!

go you.

because when I’m a fan. gosh darn it, I’m a fan.

October 20, 2008 Crystal humor, im cool, medium

I just read this superduper awesome book. “The Year of Living Biblically” by A.J. Jacobs per a reccomendation by my super awesome uncle (cousin? family lines are tricky) scott. (hi scott!)

and I LOVE IT!

in fact. YOU should probably go read the book right now and then we can talk about it. it’s about this guy (A.J.) who lives a year of his life following the bible literally. and although he’s an agnostic. the book had a strange affect on me.

maybe it was because the book wasn’t written by someone talking down to me. or maybe it was because there were just SO many verses referenced. or maybe it was because the word “biblically” was in the title. but whatever it was. I feel like praying more.

and, so because I had A.J. Jacobs to thank for my new found stronger faith, I thought I should probably ask him to be my friend on facebook.

and then send him a message on facebook telling him how awesome he is.

and then e-mail him the following e-mail:

Hello,

I just sent you a message on Facebook too, but I swear I’m not a stalker. My name is Crystal Lindell and I work as a reporter in the Chicago Suburbs. I’m on month 11 of your book ‘Living Biblically’ and I just wanted to drop you a note to say that a. I LOVE the book, B. I’ve oficially decided to reccomend it to EVERYONE I know. C. I’m sad that I’m getting to the end, because I enjoy reading it so much.

Favorite parts so far include (but are not limited to): 1. You and the chicken. 2. Your visit to Uncle Gil 3. The husband who makes his wife go into a different room for seven days every month and then claims it’s a nice break for her from chores. 4. Your many reasons for avoiding handshakes.

And I also wanted to tell you that I can’t stop thinking about the various topics you address. For example, I just went to Wal-Mart to buy some contact solution because I couldn’t see out of my left eye, and I was kinda in a hurry to clean my contact. But the woman in front of me was taking FOREVER, and then she was trying to make me laugh by doing things like pointing to her four apple-cinnomon air fresheners and saying ‘If my house doesn’t smell like apple-cinnomon after this I quit.” But I didn’t laugh, because it wasn’t funny. And then she had about 12 coupons, each of which she had to dig out of her clear, plastic coupon book. And THEN, she explained to the casheir about a time Wal-Mart had accidently charged her twice for the same purchase and the refused to credit her bank account the difference.
And I was thinking ‘Be slow to anger,” which is one of the things you work on in your book. So, I took I deep breath and tried to think happy thoughts. And I was able to complete my transaction without even giving the woman an evil eye.

Anyway, I’m sure you get a TON of e-mail everyday, so if you took the time to read this, I really appreciate it. I am planning to read ‘The Know-it-all” next and I’m very excited about it.

You newest fan,
Crystal Lindell

but he didn’t e-mail me back.

so I was a little sad.

but then. oh snap! he facebooked me:

“I’d love to be your friend.
AJ”

And it totally made my day.

and so, I’m going to have to go out and by some more of this man’s books. so i can stalk him. and then maybe one day, he’ll film a movie where I live and I can shake his hand.

stranger things have happened.