The only certainty is bad grammar

first of all, although i like a great many of your facebook status updates, i will no longer be clicking the “like” button below them to indicate this.

Let’s talk about facebook, why the heck is their e-mail system stuck in 1987? i’ve read it before in other places, but it bears repeating: FACEBOOK, I WOULD LIKE TO BE ABLE TO FORWARD MY MESSAGES. (for free of course). that is all.

moving on. im about to hit 1,000 posts on twitter. yay me! (ish). not quite sure if that’s a celebratory thing or what, because technically i could have just been sitting here tweeting about my nail polish choices 1,000 times in a row. but i obviously did NOT do that. so, ya. like i said, ya me!

also, what do you think my 1,000 tweet should be? maybe i should go all deep, like “one small tweet for me, one giant twitter for mankind.” or maybe more on the funny side, like “tweet. tweet. who’s there? banana. banana who?”

guess you’ll just have to visit my twitter to find out!!

speaking of the internet, i really, really like my new blog design. i’ve gotten some mixed feedback, but i’m so in love with the watercolor flowers, the notebook paper and the paragraph spacing that i don’t even care.

and while we’re on the topics of blogs, my hero, Heather B. Armstrong just wrote the final post of her three-part labor story and even though pretty much all of her posts rock, this was especially amazing. you should go read about how she brought life into the world.

part 1.

part 2.

part 3.

thank me later. 🙂

ok. im a bad myspace friend.

i haven’t been on that site in FOREVER!

oh. what’s that? you messaged me? sorry about that.

huh? you also commented on my profile? wait, what layout did i have on there again? oh ya. that one with the pretty white flower.

yep, don’t go on there anymore. WAY too much clutter for me.

except that this week there was some stuff with the thing and i had to become fluent in like three minutes flat.

and there i was, the girl who was on facebook like a week after my college was added to the site in 2003 2004, asking my 10-year-old sister how to view status updates on stupid myspace.

MY TEN-YEAR-OLD SISTER.

first of all, when the crap did she get an online personality? and second of all, why the heck does she need it? and third of all, why the frick is it so freaking hard to view people’s past status updates on myspace?

for realz.

also, my sister is 10. TEN. who is she talking to?

because i swear to Tom, if you mess with her, i will use my amazing journalism skills to find you and kill you.

true story.

now excuse me while i stalk her online and try to convince her that facebook is better in every way.

i went to the freaking doctor for my ear.

and she was super nice, but whatever. i still hate doctors.

basically, i might have some congestion left over from my cold from like two weeks ago.  or i could have crazy high blood pressure.

she didn’t really see any congestion in my ear though, so that could just be her nice way of saying that ya, i have blood pressure issues seeing as how she did get a sky-high reading. (148/100)

which is weird because a matter of a few months ago, (when i was in the ER/at the doctor like once a week for gallbladder stuff) it was fine. FINE!

and im not going to lie, im kind of p*ssed about it. i mean for crst’s sake, i sit here working out and being vegan vegetarian all day every day and FOR WHAT?!  what the heck is the point of trying to be freaking healthy if my body is just going to fall apart at 25 anyway? i might as well eat some freaking steak with a side of cheese and sugar or something.

and this doesn’t even run in my freaking family. AND, my grandpa Lindell eats a nice side of salt with EVERY MEAL and he’s TOTALLY FINE (well, as fine as a 79-year-old man can be).

anyway, so now i have to go to random pharmacies and take it myself for a month and then report back.

and im only supposed to go once a week, but im crazy, so i already went today.

let it be know, my blood pressure was TOTALLY NORMAL. a perfectly respectable 116/73.

nonetheless, i have to lay off the salt for awhile, which im sure will make my grandma Cory VERY HAPPY, seeing as how she’s been telling to “stop eating salt” since i was like two.

whatever. dude. this is crap.

and my ear is STILL making a swishing sound so loud that it’s keeping me up at night.

le sigh.