Crystal V. Wal-Mart

Apparently $5.32 is pretty freaking important to freaking Wal-Mart.

Today I went to return a $5 pair of tights that had never been worn and were still in the package and could be resold no problem. I bought them as a back-up in case I put on the black nylons I got for Diana’s wedding and hated them.

And I swear to cash registers that I had a freaking receipt at one point. But alas, I had left it at home.  And, all I wanted was cash for the stupid tights.

But the guy, was all, ‘Ya, we have to give you a gift card.’

And I’m all “Umm, ya. I really, really, really need the cash because I have .2 gallons of gas in my car.’

And the man was all ‘No. I can’t do it.’

So I asked to see his manager.

Who was all ‘Do you have a receipt?’

And I was all, ‘No, but I really, really need the cash for gas and it’s only $5.’

‘But you don’t have a receipt?’


“Then I have to give you a gift card.’

‘Ok. Can I see your manager please.’

‘Fine. Hey [worker person] call [specific manager’s name that’s probably known for saying no to customers]’

Next manager appears.

‘Hi! Can I help you?’

‘Yes. I just really want the $5 cash for these tights.’

‘Ok. Do you have a receipt?’

‘No. But it’s only $5 and I really need the cash to put gas in my car.’

‘Oh. Ya. Well, I can’t do that.’

This woman underestimated me and my need for gas though. To me that $5 was about 7 tribillion times more important than it could ever be to her.

I was planning to wait her out.

‘But I really, really, really need the cash for gas. FOR GAS WOMAN!’

‘Ya. I can’t do that.’

So I dropped my trump card.

‘I know you can do it. I used to work at Wal-Mart. At the service desk. And you just hit ‘cash’ instead of ‘gift card.’ Also, I know that you don’t give out gift cards unless the return is over $5, so this is just 32 cents over. AND I REALLY, REALLY need the cash for gas. Did I mention that?’

‘Fine. Give her the cash.’

And that’s how I got enough gas to get Rockford so my mom could give me money so I could eat this week. (Thanks mom!!)

True story.

Also, Wal-mart is lame.

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Comments (6)

  1. E. Marie

    I’m glad you got it and more glad you had your trump card!

  2. Beth

    Great story! I almost choked when I got to FOR GAS WOMAN!

  3. Lyndon

    Walmart is lame. They are also evil. True story.

  4. Stinky Lou

    If this ever happens again, to save time, take the gift card, go buy something for $5.32, and then turn around and return it for a refund. Don’t forget your receipt.

  5. Jill

    Yeah. If we had a decent wal-mart, they’d have their own gas station, so not only cud you have used the store credit there, but i think they also give discounts on gas if you use a gift card at their gas station… so, yeah.

  6. SCVegan

    I’m impressed! Way not to take NO for an answer. I have gotten more than $5 back on a return without a receipt, though the service guy was ghey and i was dressed pretty easy so might have had something to do with it.


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