Crystal V. Wal-Mart

Apparently $5.32 is pretty freaking important to freaking Wal-Mart.

Today I went to return a $5 pair of tights that had never been worn and were still in the package and could be resold no problem. I bought them as a back-up in case I put on the black nylons I got for Diana’s wedding and hated them.

And I swear to cash registers that I had a freaking receipt at one point. But alas, I had left it at home.  And, all I wanted was cash for the stupid tights.

But the guy, was all, ‘Ya, we have to give you a gift card.’

And I’m all “Umm, ya. I really, really, really need the cash because I have .2 gallons of gas in my car.’

And the man was all ‘No. I can’t do it.’

So I asked to see his manager.

Who was all ‘Do you have a receipt?’

And I was all, ‘No, but I really, really need the cash for gas and it’s only $5.’

‘But you don’t have a receipt?’


“Then I have to give you a gift card.’

‘Ok. Can I see your manager please.’

‘Fine. Hey [worker person] call [specific manager’s name that’s probably known for saying no to customers]’

Next manager appears.

‘Hi! Can I help you?’

‘Yes. I just really want the $5 cash for these tights.’

‘Ok. Do you have a receipt?’

‘No. But it’s only $5 and I really need the cash to put gas in my car.’

‘Oh. Ya. Well, I can’t do that.’

This woman underestimated me and my need for gas though. To me that $5 was about 7 tribillion times more important than it could ever be to her.

I was planning to wait her out.

‘But I really, really, really need the cash for gas. FOR GAS WOMAN!’

‘Ya. I can’t do that.’

So I dropped my trump card.

‘I know you can do it. I used to work at Wal-Mart. At the service desk. And you just hit ‘cash’ instead of ‘gift card.’ Also, I know that you don’t give out gift cards unless the return is over $5, so this is just 32 cents over. AND I REALLY, REALLY need the cash for gas. Did I mention that?’

‘Fine. Give her the cash.’

And that’s how I got enough gas to get Rockford so my mom could give me money so I could eat this week. (Thanks mom!!)

True story.

Also, Wal-mart is lame.

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random thoughts (please induldge me)

• heck YA, i’m excited that gas prices are going down. We’re on our way back to $1 a gallon baby! secret plan includes stock piling it in my roommate’s garage by disguising it in cans of paint. Will resale when prices sky rocket after election. ergo, pay off student loans.

• I’m addicted to checking my bank account online every day. do you think the people at Harris keep track of how many times I do this? the sad thing is, because of their weird system, I’m not even sure what my “available balance” actually means. or how many of my transactions have actually posted.

• Guess what? I have good news. I just saved a bunch of money on my car insurance by switching to geico. (where have I heard that before? hmm.) seriously. I did. Progressive wanted to charge me about $230 per month. (yes. you just read “month.”) while geico will charge me a measly (ish) $180 per month. yay. (ish).

• in case you were wondering where all the office rubber bands have gone, I have indeed made a rubber band ball. from scratch. the secret is to start by wrapping a rubber band around another one and building from there:

my bouncing rubber band ball
my bouncing rubber band ball

• Can you people believe that the election is in SIX DAYS!! Holy moley!!!! seriously are you going to vote? who do you think will win? who? who? WHO???!!

• I wish my blackberry didn’t need to alert me every time i have an outgoing e-mail from gmail. seriously mr. blackberry, i sent it. i KNOW it’s out there.

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