So, ever since i was a little girl people have been thinking I was a lesbian. I’m not sure why, seeing as how i make out with boys all the time. And YES, my best girl friend and i DO say “love you” at the end of all our phone calls, and YES, i’ve shared beds with girls before, and YES sometimes my friends and I hold arms when we walk down the street, but NONE of this means I like girls (at least not in that way — not that there’s anything wrong with that). 

This whole thing has never really bothered me though, because I know that I’m NOT a lesbian and IF i were, I probably would have told everyone about it by now seeing as how i love to talk about myself i’m a really open person.

However, recently, some people who are just getting to know me told me that NOT ONLY did they think i was a LESBIAN (which as I stated above, I’m not) when they met me, they also thought i was a stoner. A STONER? WHAT?! WHAT? WHAT?! I’ve never even tried pot (aka mary jane, aka, marijuana, aka, herbs? etc. etc.) in my freaking life.

This observation, however, wouldn’t be a big deal except for the fact that i’m pretty much the EXACT OPPOSITE of a stoner. I’m kind of loud. and kind of talkative. and kind of NOT RELAXED in ANY WAY. and I’ve often had people tell me that pot might go a long way to calm me down (I have OF COURSE never taken this advice). It’s not that I think there’s anything wrong with being a lesbian or for that matter a stoner, it’s just that I’m neither.

So, just in case any of you out there were thinking the same things — I’m officially setting the record, umm straight, as they say, with this post. I’m a boy-loving, non-pot-smoking machine and I plan to stay that way. you know. just in case any of you were wondering.