So, I went home this weekend. Super fun, but driving back yesterday in -347 degree(ish) temperatures kind of sucked. I had to let my car warm up for like 2 hours(ish) before the heat would even turn on. That’s right! the heat wouldn’t even TURN ON in my car for about 2 hours and then it still blew out cold air. Jebus. (Note: just in case my sarcasm was lost in print, the heat actually turned on in like 20 minutes and it pretty much blew out warm air at that point and the temperature was actually about -1 degree.)

It’s about three hours from my mom’s house to my apartment and I came back in morning because I didn’t have to work until noon. I had planned to wake up at at the last minute (8 a.m.) and then drive back and take a shower in my apartment. but instead, I had togot to drive my little sister to school. and she WAS SO EXCITED about it, that she disregard the fact that she didn’t have to be to school until 8 and woke up at 6 a.m. — then she stared at me until i woke up too. I got up, got all my stuff together and realized we still had an hour to kill, so i defied my sister and went back to sleep.

Eventually, i dropped her at school and then hit the road back to oshkosh. I was really tired, so I stopped at a McDonald’s drive through and got as much unhealthy food as I could for $5, figuring that would wake me up. it didn’t. Then about an hour later, I stopped at a gas station figuring the cold air and the bathroom break would wake me up. it didn’t. I tried listening to a variety of music, but country and pop and even christian music all just put me to sleep. I also a put in a book on tape, but the soothing sound of someone reading made me want to get tucked in. Don’t fret though, i made it to my apartment awake and sans any accidents. and i carried all my crap up to the second floor and unlocked my door and a weird thing happened — even though I had just GONE HOME, I was so happy TO BE HOME.

I haven’t really been thinking of my apartment as home until now. It’s been more a place where I unpack after going to another home every weekend. I’m thinking having a bed is helping with that whole home feeling , but it’s more than that. The place is starting to smell like me. and there is a spot for all my stuff. and the bathroom has definitely started to reflect me. (both literally and figuratively.)

one of the hardest parts of a move is that you give up your home. and your home is the one thing that can make you feel OK at the end of a long crappy day. and when you first move, most days are long and crappy but you don’t get to feel ok, because the place you go to hang your hat isn’t really your home. your home is that place you left, say, in South Dakota.

I’m thinking I’m going to be ok in America’s Dairyland now though, because I can finally go home at the end of each day.