i seriously never look there

ok. i may or may not have been growing a broccoli swamp filled with mold on my roommate’s shelf in the fridge. and i say may or may not because i didn’t actually see the swamp because it was on my roommate’s shelf, and i seriously never look there. nope. i just skim right down to the shelf below it where i keep my hummus, cherry tomatoes and left over spaghetti.

i figure it’s better that way so that i don’t get jealous of food i can’t have, like orange juice and well, i don’t actually know. like i said, i never look at those shelves.

im assuming my soup ended up on her shelf because i had gotten it as a gift back when i couldn’t even do basic tasks like feed myself while recovering from my surgery. and seeing as how i couldn’t feed myself, i also couldn’t do other simple things, like put away food. instead, my mom, sister and grandma were in charge of that. so one of them must have put it on her shelf.

you might have realized by this point, that my surgery was more than a month ago, so that soup must have been at least as old. you’re right. it was. but everyday, id go the fridge and skim right past the broccoli swamp filled with mold to where i keep my hummus.

every. single. day.

until finally my roommate decided that on account of the fact that we were having company, and that there was about a 50 percent chance they would look at her shelf in the fridge, she’d just clean the stupid swamp- and mold-filled container out herself. and seeing as how she’s nice and whatnot, she didn’t even mention it to me, until i was like: hmm? where did this large empty soup container in the dish drain come from? and she was all: oh. that. ya. that was the most disgusting thing i’ve ever done in my whole life. your soup was in there. how could you have not SEEN that?!

what? it was? crap. wow.

my friend robert from high school was like that soup.

we were bestest friends back then. back in 2000. and 2001.

and we’d go to off-campus lunch together like every single day. to mcdonald’s. or taco bell. or even that little gyro place where i used to get gyros from until i got food poisoning from them.

and i remember one time someone stole his coveted parking sticker from inside his car, and we walked up and down the hundreds of cars in the my school parking lot looking for it. for like a week. and i thought it was a hopeless endeavor because holy automobile, there were like 1,472 cars in that parking lot. but robert was so cool, that i walked along the rows just so i could spend time with him.

and then one day he found a sticker with a number that had been altered with white out, and i’ll be darned if it wasn’t HIS parking sticker.

and even though we had so much fun together, doing even simple things like walking through a high school parking lot looking for his sticker, we never dated.

and we didn’t even go to prom together or anything. instead, we both went with people we thought we wanted to go with. and then, while at the dance, we both ditched our dates and hung out all night laughing.

robert always made me laugh. the boy would crack me up. and i can’t even remember a single joke, but i vividly remember the laughing.

and then on graduation day, he came up to me after the ceremony, grabbed my arm and said ‘im going to college on the east coast. what if we never see each other again?’ and i was like ‘that’s crazy. of course we’ll see each other again.’

but of course we never did.

and i still wonder if maybe we were meant for each other. or maybe we were at least meant to see if we were meant for eachother. but we never got that chance. because even though we hung out everyday. i never saw him. like that soup in the fridge, i just skimmed right past him. and dated a bunch of losers instead.

and i often wonder how many amazing people are in my life who i just skim right past. how many people are right there in front of me who i never even see?

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i wish i had gotten uno point.

apparently when it counts i totally suck at Uno. (get it? counts. uno. uno means one. ha. i’m hilarious.) last night i did my monthly stint volunteering at the local church that houses homeless people overnight and i played the card game uno with the other volunteer mike. for two hours.

and at first i was all ‘ha. i win. again.’ but since i was doing so great, i decided that we should start adding up the cards we had left over at the end of the game. then the person with the most points would lose.

i lost.

a lot.

like i had 441 points and he had 253 points. i’m not even exaggerating here. nope. looking at the post-it we kept score on right. now. yep. i got 441 and he got just 253. i don’t know if you’ve ever played uno, but 441 points is pretty hard to get, considering most cards are worth 3 or 2 or even zero points. but alas, i managed to lose the first seven games in a row.

you would have thunk with all that practice i got at the game during that summer i spent with my cousins in indiana back in 91, i’d be a little better and whatnot. and i’m not sure if it was the nerves, or the fact that this all happened between mid-night and 2 a.m., but im going to go ahead and blame it on the fact that i was darn tootin tired.

now excuse me while i learn to stack uno cards in my favor. mozzy along. nothing to see here.

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fan-tastic

if i ever actually meet my friend SCVegan, i’m pretty sure i’d have to fall in love with him on the spot.

the other day, he read all my blog posts dating back to early november – an accomplishment in and of itself — and THEN he left me a comment.

on nearly every.single.post.

the dude managed to blow-up my crackberry for about three hours as i continued to get little notifications alerting me to new comments. i just looked back through my email and it seems he commented about 40 times.

40 TIMES’!

I don’t even know what he looks like. And I’m only about 85 percent sure that he, is an umm, a he. As far as I can tell he found my blog during that whole vegan thing i did, decided i didn’t suck and has been a fan ever since. We’ve chated a few times online and whatnot, and there was a drunk email incident in there somewhere, but other than that, we just communicate via my blog. once, when he hadn’t commented for awhile, my mom actually asked about him. and i find myself awaiting his thoughts on my posts like im 8 years old again and Ray Johnson is deciding if he will circle “yes” or”maybe” on that note i passed his way. and then, when SCVegan does comment, they’re usually so brilliant that i share them with my friends while laughing.

and it’s nice to have fans. or fan. because even if he’s the only one out there reading this thing, at least i know i don’t suck.

my friend april is kind of like a 3-d version of SCVegan. she’s my fan in real life. and when i feeling like maybe im not so good at navigating the world, she always comes through and yells “CRYSTAL DON’T GIVE UP!” and i’d like to think i do the same for her.

and when we first became each others fans, it was all “hey, don’t worry, people at college will like you” and now it’s more “don’t worry, you’ll find a way to pay all your bills this month” so it goes. we stick it out. together.

and one time she came to visit at Western Illinois University when i was an undergrad there and we went to a party so i could point out the boy i was pretty much in love with, but who had been treating me like crap pretty much since i had met his drunk-behind at a party the second week of my sophomore year.

april took one look at him and said “i do believe that is the ugliest guy you’ve ever made out with. you can do SO much better” and even if i had know those things before then, it took my friend, a true crystal fan, to point them out. and i dropped him like a penny in the street and moved on with my life.

well, i eventually moved on my life. people, im not a saint. but without april there to point me toward bigger and better boys, i might have been stuck with him still. just living my life, thinking that i couldn’t do any better.

lucky for me i had fans. or at least fan.

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