Tuesday I get a little sideways

Right now, I’m spending all my time working out, planning youth group and going to my real job.

All told, that equals about 27 hours a day.

I day dream about olive garden breadsticks while weighing myself everyday twice a day five times a day to stay on track. And then I walk at least 3 miles.

While not drooling over taco bell commercials, I go through things I need to do for church. Did I facebook stalk the students who didn’t come Sunday? Check. Did I figure out a game that adequately brings up spiritual gifts? Sort of. Did I nail down how many kids are coming to the November concert? Not even close.

In the middle of all that I check my work e-mail about 37 times. An hour. I also obsessively check news site to see if I missed anything I should have covered and to make sure none of the Bears’ players randomly injured themselves mid-week.

I know, I know. My life is so exciting that you totally wish you were me right now.

It’s cool. So does the dog.

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My favorite kind of Sundays

It took at least 20 hours of preparation, 4 large pizzas (most vegetarian) and a 12-pack of play-doh, but I’m going to go ahead and call today’s youth group a success.

My church pastor said it best- youth group leadership is very challenging, but very rewarding.

I get a bit of a high when things go well. A “this is what life is all about” kinda feeling. A “holy crap, I think I just inspired a kid to pray this week” feeling.

There’s not a lot of feelings that beat that.

My friend justin told me once that when he gets to heaven, he doesn’t want God to say “well. you did a nice job. glad you were on my side.”

he wants God to look at him in awe and say “Man. Now THAT was gangsta.”

Sometimes though, I think people (not just Christians, but anyone trying to be awesome) get ahead of themselves and want to go from lame to gangsta in 3 days flat.

But I know that’s now how anything works.

I’m taking it a week at a time. Hoping to just keep moving forward so that eventually I’ll be gangsta.

For right now, I know I’m a few steps further along than I was two weeks ago.

Thanks be to God.

For serious.

Now I just have to figure out what we’re going to do next week.

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hanging out with the past

my friend donell is in town.

I’m just going to go ahead and carelessly throw his name into this post because I don’t believe him when he says he reads my blog.

he and i go way back to that one party in high school where i wore the red heels. oh. and prom. we went to my prom together. mostly we just fought the whole time, but that was because we were two stupid teenagers. plus, he totally started it.

Anywho, he’s in town from Texas. or maybe Louisiana. I’m not exactly sure where he lives these days. somewhere down south.

We keep in touch via Facebook pokes and birthday texts enough though that I wanted to at least see him while he visited the land of lincoln. you know, to make sure he was still as cute in person as his profile picture led me to believe.

I knew the whole thing would be supa surreal, but that didn’t stop it from being SUPA SURREAL.

I like to think I’m 10 years older than i was when i was 16, what with the calendar telling me so and whatnot. but when i hang out with him it’s like im a little girl hoping he’ll hug me good-bye. I lose all ability to interpret secret boy code or come off as any sort of charming.

the whole thing was made even stranger because our other friend Jason also joined the group. (again, throwing his name out there because im pretty sure he was just being polite when he took my blog card).

i went to homecoming with Jason. we didn’t fight the whole time, but i do remember yelling at him while we sat at an intersection. or, wait.  maybe that was a different day. no. no. it was homecoming. i remember wearing the blue and black dress while i scolded him by name.

anyway, both of these guys were  just the very coolest in my teenage eyes.

i dreamed of the day when i’d be able to dance with jason without bumping my head on his (yes. that happened). or when donell would deem me worthy of official “girlfriend” status (that never ended up happening).

but as i hung out with these guys and all their friends Thursday night i realized that it wasn’t a matter of cool versus uncool, it was a matter of different.

i had to hang out with them growing up because my world didn’t extend beyond a five-mile radius of my house. but i’ve gotten older since then. i’ve gotten a car, an education, and a VZNavigator.

i found my way to people like me. people who care about the potential impact of social media on our lives. people who read newspapers and watch the West Wing on DVD. people who don’t get high every freaking day.

well, donell’s at least ON facebook i guess, but i’d bet my blackberry that Jason doesn’t even know what a status update is.

they care about the latest local bands, the pros and cons of Miller Lite or Old Sytle and umm, ya. i think that’s pretty much it.

just because i don’t, doesn’t mean im not cool though.

one of the first things i did when i exchanged pleasantries with Jason was offer my blog card. (it’s a habit i have). and as i handed it to him, he asked why i’d never been to one of his band’s shows.

that’s when i figured it all out.

umm, jason, i haven’t gone to any of your shows because i HATE the type of music you play and only went while 16 because i had a mad crush on you. why in gutair’s name would i put myself through that for any other reason?

now, none of that is a slam on jason’s music. it’s just a reflection of reality.

all of us are different.

and the only reason we ever tolerated each other in the first place was that we couldn’t see anything more than 5 miles away.

thank God for google maps.

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