i’ll stop writing about money when i finally get some

the thing about being broke that nobody ever tells you is that it makes it really, really hard to do the right thing.

today i got one of those headaches that feels like i have a blue and green mass growing above my left eye. and i tried to take some tylenol, which my lovely co-worker gave me for free, but that crap didn’t do a darn thing to ease my pain. i knew when i took it though that the only thing that was going to work was advil. except i didn’t have any freaking advil.

so i was going to try and ignore the problem by relying on my old stand-by – praying that God and/or magic will fix it. however, neither came through for me today, so i had to drive over to wal-greens and buy some stupid advil.

and im ashamed to admit this, but for the first time in my life the thought of stealing the medicine actually crossed my mind. i just did NOT have the $3.98 it was going to cost me for the generic ibuprofen. i mean i had it, but it had already been allocated for gas money.

of course, i did not steal the medicine. but the thought fluttered over my brain and past what felt like a blue and green mass above my left eye for at least a solid half of a second.

and my 12-year-old self, who never got headaches that felt like a blue and green mass was growing above her left eye, and who never had to understand money, would have never, for even a half a second, ever considered stealing something. in fact, one time, when i was about 12, i walked to the dominick’s grocery down the street from my house with some friends. and they decided to each steal one grape from the produce bins, and i refused to partake. PEOPLE I WOULDN’T EVEN STEAL A GRAPE.

now look at my moral-less self. im one step away from stealing drugs. not illegal drugs, mind you. but those can’t be too far off.

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