Wishing them a life dripping with blessings

Published: December 6, 2009 / Updated: December 6, 2009 Crystal daily photo, humor, medium, Wow

My friend Diana is the kind of gal who loves steak, arranges her schedule on Ash Wednesday so she can go to noon Mass, and who follows the news so closely that when I get a breaking CNN text alert, she already heard about whatever happened 10 minutes ago.

And she’s become one of my closest friends since I met her about a year and a half ago.

Which is why I couldn’t possibly be more happy that yesterday she got married to the love of her life – Chuck.

I have never in my life seen a bride so genuinely happy.

Ever.

And her now-husband was beaming so much that I thought sunshine might start coming out of his teeth.

The setting was intimate, the vows were genuine and  polka dancing was fun to watch. And I learned a valuable lesson about the expiration date of the electric slide.

I don’t even mind that multiple members of the Mariachi band asked to take cell phone pictures with me. My Spanish is rusty, but I can only assume they either thought I was pretty or that I had toilet paper sticking out of my nylons and nobody wanted to tell me.

I wish both Diana and Chuck a home that’s dripping with blessings, a life filled with more happy times than bad and a love that really does make the two of you become one.

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– I know it’s grainy, but I was in the back because I got there a tad late (Sorry Diana). I LOVE how Chuck is smiling here though. He looked like that pretty much the whole day. True story.

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– Diana and I. And yes, that smile was on her face right down the end when the banquet hall staff were starting to clean up.

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the twins are causing some problems

September 27, 2008 Crystal feminism?, humor, medium, sh*tty things that happen to me
me, the bride, and carefully held flowers.
me, the bride, and carefully held flowers.

so last weekend i was in a wedding and the bridesmaids got to wear these lovely halter top dresses.

except my boobs (is there a more tactful word i should be using here?) were not having it.

seriously people. they were POPPING out of the d*mn dress.

and the bride’s mom had to get all up in there to pin my bra to the sheer material. and when she was done, the nice southern woman said “don’t sneeze honey, or pins are going to come popping out.”

and i covered my chest with flowers in EVERY SINGLE PICTURE because I was this.close to coming undone and i didn’t want to risk it (see above).

and a number of guys at the wedding came up to me to tell me how great i looked. but no, they were not complimenting my eyes.

and some of the other bridesmaids said they were kinda jealous of my chest. but i know it was all lies. because who the heck would WISH for that kind of thing?

and while we’re on the subject, i swear to you people that my left boob (again, sounds weird) is bigger than my right. and i cannot find ANY bras that fit. and so the left side of all my bras always ends up breaking first.

this is a REAL problem people.

and many a good bra has been ruined by this.

im thinking of just switching to sports bras and calling it a day.

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