Starting at a new church has been rough.

Being a youth group leader is basically like reaching into your chest, cutting through your ribs, grabbing a chunk of your beating heart, pulling it out and putting it on the table.

There are long hours, lots of praying, pleading, crying, coffee, and emotional stress.

Like, the one time, after I had that one youth group session where everything blew up in my face, and I went to my only parent volunteer and started crying and telling him that there were in fact kids out there who actually like me. Or that time when I put every ounce of my emotional energy into a session only to leave so drained that my roommate had to remind me that God was in fact, good. Or that other time when I saw a mouse in my office.

But then.

Then some days are so amazing that you wonder how heaven could be any better than this.

Days when a student runs over to sit by your in service.  Or days when a parent tells the Christian Education committee that he thought your plan to start a high school group was like a boat with a lot of holes in it, but now, he’s really impressed. Or when a student posts on Facebook that the group is going well.

Those are the days that bring the good tears to my eyes. That make me think that maybe God knew what he was doing putting me here at this particular church. And I’m grateful, and happy, and blissful right now that things are finally falling into place.

I wanted to write that here, in this space, so that the next time I feel like crying the bad tears, I can come back and remember that being a youth group leader is actually the most awesome thing in the world.

Yay God.