I finally got through all five seasons of HBO’s “The Wire.” And real quick, before I tell everyone why you need to see that show by tomorrow, and how all other shows suck to me now, I need to tell you a funny story.
And, for you to understand the funny story, you need to know that journalists get a bunch of news off something called “the wire.”
So, the other month, I was texting my journalist friend (a HUGE wire fan) (his name is Tom Loewy) with a reference to the show, about how I couldn’t believe [name withheld to prevent a spoiler] died and he texted back, who? And then I was all, [name withheld to prevent a spoiler] died! I seriously cannot believe he [method of death withheld to prevent spoiler]! And he was like, wha? huh? So then I was like, ‘ON THE WIRE DUH!’ And he was like, “dude, I haven’t been on the wire today, can you just tell me who the heck you’re talking about???
Lol. It’s funny because he was so confused.
Or, maybe you had to be there.
Anyway, the show is awesome and I cannot watch anything else, except, (oddly) Glee, which I love in spite of the random bouts of choreography and classic rock. And really, wasn’t the episode about religion fantastic? I mean, Grilled Jesus was great.
But anyway, this isn’t about Glee, this is about The Wire, which has the best writing ever. I’m not going to lie, it’s kind of like a novel, so the first season or so, I was all, ‘I don’t see what the big deal is and really, how in the name of Omar am I supposed to follow 67 main characters, many of whom already died?’
But I stuck with it. Mostly because Allan Speinwell told me to.
He’s written amazing reviews of the show (which you can find here) and over, and over, he kept telling me this was the best drama ever. So, I went through hour, by hour, by hour, and then, in season three, [second name withheld to avoid spoilers] was shot and killed and I was like HOLY HOLY BALTIMORE! THEY JUST KILLED [second name withheld to avoid spoilers]!!!!!
And I knew I was officially in real-life love with a TV show.
Season four was my favorite, if you’re wondering. It’s the one about the schools. I probably liked it because I write about schools at the newspaper I work for. Or maybe it was just because I like Bunny. (He’s main character 89).
But ya, anyway, I loved this show.
But now, I have to move on. I have to see what else is out there. So I got Dexter through Netflix. And everyone told me that Dexter was DA BOMB! BEST SHOW EVER, but well, it’s not. Because The Wire is. And the lame narration and one-dimensional characters (so far) stand out to me like a light in the middle of an alley because, well, like I’ve said, The Wire has ruined me for other TV.
I mean sure, sure, I’ll dabble into some Grey’s Anatomy if my roommate wants me to, and I might even get excited about the scene where April wins the trauma competition, but in my heart all I’m thinking about is that scene on The Wire where [Character 83] kills [Character 6] in a convenience store. And how AMAZING that scene was because [Character 6] and I had grown so close to each other and he had just seemed like the only character who would never get got.
It’s kind of like hockey really.
When I watch hockey, I just stare at the screen fantasizing about football. Even when the Blackhawks beat the world last year, I couldn’t get too into a game where I couldn’t follow the puck and all the players had long beards and half their teeth.
Football will always be the best game ever for me.
And when I think about it, I start to wonder if my friend Tom Loewy ruined me for other guys. Because he’s wonderful and attentive and smart and funny, and you don’t find guys like him every day. But I’m at a point where I have to move on and see what else is out there because he and I aren’t on a path to be anymore than friends right now.
Except, of course, all other guys pale in comparison.
But it’s all right, because I’d rather have my time with The Wire, and the Bears, and Tom Loewy and be slightly disappointed with everything else than to never know greatness at all.