I’m pretty sure I could gain an easy 50 to 98 pounds working at the candy magazine.

My first day, I gained like six.

Dudes, literally like a couple hours in, my new boss called me into his office and I was worried for half a minute that my first column sucked or something, but all he wanted to do was give me four packages of free candy to try. And it was delicious.

Too delicious.

My plan right now is to give up soda so that I can balance things out, but that didn’t work so well today because I ended up having that very same free candy for breakfast, and then I had a Coke with dinner.

I also was planning to join a gym today, but it actually ended up being a really good thing I didn’t because as I was running (yes, literally running because I was COLD) into Target to buy bows and wrapping paper I tripped on nothing and sprained my ankle like a mofo.

I was trying to just walk it off because you know, a girl’s gotta shop, but then I sat on the display futon and took off my boot and I realized that my ankle was the size of a tennis ball. I cried a little on the inside at that point. But, ya, in conclusion, I obviously wouldn’t have even been able to go to the gym for like a week anyway.

Right now, I’m on Vicodin, which I had left over from when I had my gall bladder out, and I’m not going to lie, I’m kind of out of it.  In a fun way, but still. I just finished writing out all the Christmas cards for my youth group, and I’m really hoping I spelled everyone’s name right and that I didn’t say anything too crazy.

Speaking of holiday cards, if you are among the four that sent one my way, thank you much!!

And to everyone who reads my blog, have yourself a merry little Christmas day.