wait? they have to stick WHAT into WHERE?

Go watch this:

3D Medical Animation: Gallbladder Removal Surgery due to Gallstones

(I tried to put in in the post, but couldn’t figure out how. tips on that are welcome).

So ya. I’m kinda tired of everyone being all “ohhhhh, gallbladder surgery? that’s EASY.” easy compared to WHAT? people? easy compared to brain surgery? well duh. EVERYTHING Is freaking easier than that. or do you mean easy compared to running a mile? oh. no? not THAT easy. well then why the frick are you even USING the word “easy”

For those of you who don’t know, after going to the er three freaking times during gallstone attacks over the last few months, i am finally getting my gallbladder taken out Thursday. I have never had surgery before, so i have spent the last week freaking myself out by watching episodes of house, scrubs and grey’s anatomy which feature people dying during routine surgeries, such as gallbaldder removal.

because my dad loves me and wants to calm my nerves, he sent me the above linked video, which only served to tell me new terrifying things about my upcoming surgery.

my understanding of the situation (based on information from mr. google, dr. judy and ms. you tube) is as follows:

a. my iv will have to be inserted in my hand. YES. HAND! which is mainly bones, so I’m not too sure how the heck THAT is going to go down.

b. they will have to make four (yes FOUR) cuts into my stomach that go down through to my gallbladder. and then they will have to give me internal stitches. what the heck do those even FEEL like?

c. if i so much as swallow water while brushing my teeth the morning of the surgery, i will throw up.

d. they have to put air under my lung to lift it up. that’s just freaking weird.

e. speaking of lungs, they also have to stick a tube down my throat. eck.

f. they only put me in a “light sleep,” which is how i am able to leave the same day. and just in case that doesn’t hold, they also “shut off my brain”, but you know, just in case BOTH of those don’t work, I’m also given a medication that shuts off my memory in case i wake up during the surgery. I’m told there is about a 0 percent chance that will happen, but I don’t understand why if there is a 0 percent chance that will happen they have to give me the memory-blocking serum in the first place? the whole thing seems kinda fishy to me.

g. they suck my gallbladder out by putting it in a sack. ick.

h. the surgeons will take pictures of the procedure, which i can look at later. if i look thin and stuff, maybe i will try to post them here. because hey, that’s what blogs are for. right?

anywho, wish me luck! i’m going to try to do a few “future” timed posts so that my blog won’t be bare for the weekend and such. that means, if you see a post on commentary sucking on the 30rock season one dvd, i did not in fact write it from the hospital. rather, i wrote it from the past.

UPDATE: Got swamped at work today, no time to write any future posts. will try to post Friday though, and plan to twitter all day tomorrow. Pray for me and my gallbladder!

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Comments (6)

  1. Bethany

    I’ll be thinking of you on Thursday. Surgery sucks, but really, you’ll feel better afterward. Just take the recuperation slowly… no need to be heroic.

    Reply
  2. Sandy

    When they put a tube down my throat, I was already out and wasn’t even aware of the procedure. My throat wasn’t even sore after the event and they took it out before I woke up. So, perhaps you will be as lucky.

    Reply
  3. Badgergirl

    You’ll be knocked out by the time they put the tube down your throat and when they take it out. You won’t even realize it. Like Bethany said, surgery sucks. But give it a day or two and you’ll start to feel better. And take the recovery slowly. I’ll be thinking of you.

    Reply
  4. Beth

    Dear God, that all sounds terrible and I can’t even bring myself to watch the video.

    I mean … uhhh… good luck!

    Reply
  5. Mandy

    CRYSTAL SUE! You are my only gulblatterless friend. You rock!

    Reply
  6. SCVegan

    Hope everything went ok, and if it’s any consolation I want you to know that your gallbladder was not even in the top FIVE things I liked about you the most. It was number EIGHT, but hey I guess that just means everything else moves up one spot. So, looks like your French manicure is now my new number EIGHT!

    Reply

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