i already forgotaboutit

Since I’m still in love with johnny depp, i’ve been watching all sorts of his movies — including “Donnie Brasco.”

and as a result of watching that movie this weekend, and then watching the commentary (so I could stare at Mr. Depp for another 127 minutes) i’ve decided to bring back the phrase forgetaboutit.

for those who don’t remember the famous scene (most likely because you saw the movie back when it came out in 1997 like a normal person) here it is (courtesy of whysanity.net) editor’s note: it may not be safe for children younger than 13:

FBI Technician (Tim Blake Nelson): What’s “forget about it?”
Donnie Brasco:“Forget about it” is like if you agree with someone, you know, like “Raquel Welsh is one great piece of ass forget about it.” But then, if you disagree, like “A Lincoln is better than a Cadillac? Forget about it!” you know? But then, it’s also like if something’s the greatest thing in the world, like Mingrio’s Peppers, “forget about it.” But it’s also like saying “Go to hell!” too. Like, you know, like “Hey Paulie, you got a one inch pecker?” and Paulie says “Forget about it!” and then, sometimes it just means forget about it.  

See how USEFUL it is? i mean, it think it’s at least almost as verstile as the word f*ck, but it’s WAY less taboo.
Here are some examples I’ve already thought of:
my editor: thanks for doing that amazing story.
me: forgetaboutit
me: johnny depp? forgetaboutit
councilor: i’ll give you the story off the record
me: forgetaboutit.
I’m pretty certain I’ll be able to work the phrase into conversations on an almost daily basis.
AND, so that I can work it into txt messages, im thinking of typing it as 4getabotit on my mobile device. you know, so that it’s not like WAY shorter, but it’s shorter enough to look cool on a cell phone.
what’s that? you want to send me a thank-you note for bringing back the phrase? forgetaboutit. 
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a heavily weighted topic

i was talking to my 72-year-old great-uncle today about how i read this book and have since become vegan.

him: what’s veegaaon?

me: Basically i don’t eat meat. or eggs. or butter. or chesse. or anything from an animal. in other words, everything i eat comes from a plant

him: that sounds hard

me: well not really. also, I’ve actually been a vegetarian for about six years, so i had already given up meat.

him: if that’s true, how come you have so much weight on you?

me: (crying on the inside). well, umm, I guess im trying to lose it.

I supposse when I’m 72 i won’t care about tact any more either.

UPDATE: just so you know, I have lost about 12 pounds since becoming vegan. if you were wondering.

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those with doctorates are fine, it’s doctors i hate

well the book i read about bein’ vegan SAID my stomach would hurt for like a month after i gave up everything-animal — i assumed it was related to some sort of cheese withdrawal — but it’s been like 2.5 months now, and my stomach still freaking hurts.

oh, and i’m STILL dizzy.

Now, a NORMAL person probably would go see a doctor if they were having stomach problems and getting dizzy.

but im a STUPID person, who likes to rationalize things away under the assumption that my health problems will fix themselves. (i do this with cars too). so in that spirit, here is a list of ten reasons why I really, really, really, don’t want to go see a doctor:

1. i freaking hate finding a doctor covered by my insurance.

2. oh ya, and actually, i just hate insurance companies. they’re so manipulative. they say things like ‘oh, you just have to pay $10 and we’ll cover the rest,’ but what they mean is ‘oh, we said TEN dollars? well, we’ll just bill you the other $3,500 for that test we don’t cover. no big deal right?’

3. i hate when doctors are judgemental. and this really makes me mad, because my junior high health teacher told me this wouldn’t be a problem. so not only do i feel judged, i feel lied to.

4. im worried the doctor will tell me i need to lose weight.

5. and then i will tell the doctor that i’m LOSING weight because im vegan.

6. and then the doctor will tell me that being a vegan is SUPER unhealthy. so I’ll feel guilty about my weight AND my diet. and I’ll go home and cry.

Read more “those with doctorates are fine, it’s doctors i hate”

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